Fruitshigi Baskugi
by goldfish078
Summary: FurubaFushigi yuugi crossoverChichiri's kasa malfunctions and sends the gang right through Shigure's roof! Lots of crazy adventures as they try to get back! Please R&R! rated for language OOC to make it more funny...
1. In which two animes go about their lives

Hello, and welcome to Fushigi Baskugi (Aka: Fushigi Yuugi and Fruits Basket together!) Me and my friend bubbles078 wrote this together, so I hope y'all enjoy this no da! Also, if any reviewers have questions, we'll get a random character to answer them after each chapter! Also, feel free to ask us any questions! Now, we have to get Tamahome to do our disclaimer.

Tamahome: Why do I have to do it?

Goldfish: Because we're making you do it

Bubbles: Don't worry, we'll pay you!

Tamahome: OKAY!

Miaka: Cheapskate...

Goldfish: Miaka, your not doing this yet!

Bubbles: It's Tamahome's turn!

Tamahome: What do I have to do?

Goldfish: Say the disclaimer!

Tamahome: What is it?

Bubbles: That we don't own any of the stories or characters from Fushigi Yuugi or Fruits Basket

Tamahome: Well there you go! I don't have to say it anymore... you just said it!

Goldfish: Jerk... anyway

Bubbles: Just say we aren't getting paid for this either

Tamahome: You just did... wait... WE'RE NOT!

Goldfish: Uh...no

Tamahome: I quit!

Bubbles: You can't do that, you're already in the story!

Tamahome: To bad (walks out)

Goldfish: Jerk... he'll be back...

* * *

**Chapter 1:** In Which Two Animes Go About Their Normal Lives Until One Screws It Up 

"Stupid cat..." Yuki spat as he made a pot of leeks. "This will be the end for you!" He cackled evilly as he stirred the leeks slowly.

"What are you doing?" Tohru asked as she skipped into the kitchen with ten bags. Yuki turned with a evil glint in his eyes.

"Nothing, just making lunch..." He said casually, turning back to stir the leeks again. "Of Doom!" He said under his breath.

"Okay, can I have some?" Tohru asked politely as she put the bags down. Yuki sweatdropped. He couldn't give a lunch of DOOM to HER! He would never do that, not in a million years! He wouldn't even be alive in a 1,000,000 years!

"Um... NO you can't have any!" Yuki said.

"Why not?"

"Because... it's for my... um... pet..."

"Aww, really! Can I see him plea-"

"NOOOO!" Then he threw the spoon across the room." Miss Honda, I'm sorry."

"So, what kind of pet do you have?"

"Never mind that, are you okay?"

"Uh Yuki, the spoon didn't even come near me! You threw it the other way."

"Oh..."

"And it's stuck to the ceiling."

"I knew that..." Yuki said, blushing. Just then, Shigure walked in the room... RIGHT UNDER the spoon which was stuck to the ceiling. (Foreshadowing...)

"You are planning on cleaning this up, right Yuki?" Shigure asked, stopping directly under the spoon! We all know what happens next.

KLUNK

"OWWWWW!"

"Miss Honda, are you alright?" Yuki asked, rushing over to her. He pulled the spoon off her head. Yes, the spoon had changed directions at the last minute and landed on TOHRU'S HEAD!

"Is something burning?" Shigure asked!

"OH NO THE TEA!" Tohru screamed.

"You're not making any tea Miss Honda!" Yuki pointed out.

"Then it must be..."

"THE SOUP!"

They all ran in random directions because the soup's smell had them all disoriented. Finally Shigure ran out of the room shouting, "PELICANS ARE ATTACKING!" Yuki and Tohru stopped as soon as Shigure left.

"That's better," Tohru said, wiping sweat off her forehead. Yuki smiled and pulled out a random cloth to give to her.

"Here Miss Honda. Are you all right?"

"Oh I'm fine. Those Pelicans are really scary, huh?"

"Um, there weren't any pelicans Miss Honda..." Yuki said, wiping her forehead off.

"But Shigure said that-"

"Shigure is pervert who skipped collage... Therefore he doesn't know what he's talking about."

"OH MY GOD THAT'S TERRIBLE!"

"Yes, he is a school dropout but..."

"HE'S A PERVERT?" She screamed with her hands on her head. Yuki sweatdropped.

"You never realized that?" Yuki asked. Then he smelled the soup again. "Uh-oh..."

"What exactly are you making?" Tohru asked him, eyeing the soup suspiciously. It was boiling out of control and black smoke was billowing out of it.

"Er... lunch?" Yuki said. Apparently he had forgotten his inability to cook normally. Well, he did want a Lunch of Doom.

"Won't that kill your pet?" Tohru asked.

"My pet?" Yuki questioned. "OH! That pet. Um.. No, he'll be fine, He likes... burnt soup..." Yuki muttered under his breath. _Darn... how am I gonna get out of this one? _

"Really! That's amazing! When can I meet him?"

"Uh.. You can't... he has... amnesia. That's why he eats burnt soup." Yuki said, trying to convince her. Tohru looked ready to cry.

"Oh my gosh! We have to save him! Should I give him my "Life is Good" speech?"

"I don't think that's necessary Miss Honda." Yuki muttered under his breath. He put his hand to his head in frustration.

"Well, the least I can do is-"

"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT DAMN SMELL?" Yelled Kyo as he broke down the door. Tohru and Yuki stared as Kyo entered in his normal fashion... while swearing.

"It's soup for Yuki's pet!" Tohru responded happily. Kyo sweatdropped.

"Since when does rat boy have a pet?" He asked, fists clenched. His nose was twitching from the awful smell.

"Ever since he was little..." Tohru said dreamily. She was then surrounded by sparkles which made Kyo sneeze.

"I never said that!" Yuki said to Tohru. She didn't hear him because she was still off in La-La Land.

"Hell with it. Just leave me out of this whole thing!" Kyo said. Then he stormed off to hide in his own misery. That's what Kyo does. No one knows why.

"Um... Miss Honda, are you alright?" Yuki asked. Tohru didn't answer, she was still spacing out. Yuki sighed and put the lid on the pot and stuck it on a nearby tray. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the stuff, but he couldn't just dump it. Tohru would die if she found out his "pet" wasn't eating.

"And when they were seven, Yuki would always take his pet to the playground! They loved the slide the most!" Tohru dreamed happily to herself. Yuki shook his head and walked out of the room to hide the soup. He figured he would just hide it under his bed for now... until he figured out something better to do with it.

* * *

Meanwhile, far away in another century lived the citizens of Konan. But at Emperor Hotohori's Palace, it was a different story... 

"TAMAHOME!" called a familiar voice from the garden. "Get back here you JERK!"

"No can do!" Tamahome called back to his pursuer. He cut across the garden (crushing several flowers in the process) and ran into the bushes.

"I'll KILL you Tamahome!" Tasuki called as he neared the garden which Tamahome had cut through. He was dripping wet and very angry. Pulling out his tessen, he prepared to attack. "REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled as the fire burnt the remaining living flowers to a crisp.

"You're gonna have to do better than that!" Tamahome called out as he ran away once again.

"Come back here and fight me like a man you coward!" Tasuki shouted and took off after him once again. He was not going to let Tamahome get away this time! After all, he got away nearly every other time...

Tamahome ran past the main gate of the palace and right past Nuriko, who was strolling around in a daze, dreaming to himself.

"Be careful Nuriko, Tasuki's on a rampage." Tamahome called out as he ran past. Nuriko snapped out of his daze and looked up just in time to see Tamahome once again disappear.

"Huh?" He said as Tasuki rounded the corner in mad pursuit.

"REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled again, throwing out more fire. Of course, by now, Tamahome was already gone, but Nuriko was still standing there and he caught the full flame right in the face.

"TASUKI YOU JERK!" He called when the fire burnt out. He stopped running when he saw Nuriko standing there, burnt to a crisp. He winced a bit at the scary sight that lay before him. After all, the wrath of Nuriko is a VERY scary sight indeed.

"Whoops, sorry Nuriko... didn't see you standing there." Tasuki said, taking a step backwards as Nuriko advanced on him. He hid his tessen behind his back and grinned innocently.

"You had better run before I..." Nuriko said as he took another step towards the terrified Tasuki.

"Before you what?" Tasuki squeaked.

"BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Nuriko screamed in his girlish Nuriko death scream. Then he grabbed the nearest tree out of the ground and started towards Tasuki with it raised above his head. Tasuki didn't have to think twice. He was out of there before you could say "no da"!

Meanwhile, Tamahome had come out of hiding and started walking up to the palace. He stopped short when he heard high pitched screams ringing through the air.

"What the..." Tamahome muttered to himself as Tasuki turned the corner at full speed. He looked a bit panicked. A second later, Nuriko came running, holding a huge tree.

"YOU! This is ALL your fault!" Tasuki said as he neared Tamahome.

"It is not!" Tamahome said back in defense. He was referring to the wrath of Nuriko. But Tasuki didn't think anything of it. He pulled out his tessen once again and,

"REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled as a burst of fire broke loose and singed the top of Tamahome's head.

"DON'T GO BLAMING THIS ON ANYONE ELSE!" Nuriko yelled as Tamahome's hair caught fire. Tamahome figured it would be best to start running now.

"Tasuki, what did you do to him?" Tamahome yelled back as they ran through the garden (of ashes) again.

"Nothing..." Tasuki said, which was not true by any means. It's not good to lie, Tasuki. It only leads to more lies!

"Yeah sure, no really, what did you do to him?" Tamahome yelled again as a large tree just missed his head. (Which was STILL on fire!)

"Uh, are you going to do anything about that?" Tasuki asked Tamahome about his hair, which was turning blacker by the second.

"Oh, right!" Tamahome said as he rounded on the pond in the garden.

"You've gotta be kidding me?" Tasuki muttered to himself as Tamahome ran towards the rocks bordering it. He had just dried off and now he'd have to jump in again! It was either that or be killed by a tree and a cross-dresser! Tasuki chose water and followed Tamahome to the pond with Nuriko hot on his trail.

"IF YOU JUMP IN THAT POND, I'LL HURT YOU EVEN MORE!" Nuriko yelled as he chased Tasuki to the bank.

"I though you were going to kill me anyway?" Tasuki called back as Tamahome jumped into the pond. He stayed submerged for a bit before coming up. When he did, his hair was much shorter and a bit blackened from the flames. It also had a bit of seaweed that got caught in it, which he plucked out and threw at Tasuki.

Tasuki meanwhile, had stopped a few inches from the back and prepared to jump in after Tamahome.

"Just a few deep breaths... you can do this, you can... ACK!" He sputtered as a clump of seaweed hit him in the face. He lost his balance and fell in face first, hit his head on a seashell at the bottom and got knocked out for a moment. However, it didn't bother Nuriko that Tasuki was on the verge of drowning right before his eyes. He stormed into the pond after them, determined to beat Tasuki to a pulp!

Now, a few yards away was our favorite monk, Chichiri, who was quietly fishing just like he always did every morning. But this morning seemed different to him. Perhaps it was the terrified screams and war-like yells that made him think this. He took his eyes off his motionless fishing line and looked to his left. And what did he see? He saw Tamahome in the middle of the pond with only half his hair and laughing hysterically. He saw a figure below the water that greatly resembled Tasuki, which was lying face down on the bottom. And he also saw an enraged Nuriko with a tree in his hand.

"No da?" Chichiri muttered in question to himself. He shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his still motionless fishing line. Nuriko seemed to be REALLY angry at the time, so Chichiri decided not to get mixed up in any of it. However, he soon would have no choice in this matter.

"Tasuki, wake up!" Tamahome said, kicking Tasuki underwater. Normally, this would have no effect, but for this story's purpose, it roused Tasuki at once.

"Where am I?" He asked in a dazed voice.

"YOU'LL BE LONG GONE IN A SECOND!" Nuriko yelled as he swung the tree around above his head and brought it crashing down mere centimeters from Tasuki's head.

"You trying to kill me, woman?" Tasuki asked as Nuriko glared at him and proceeded to raise the tree again.

"YOU'RE DARN RIGHT I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU!"

Meanwhile, Chichiri was still fishing quietly, trying to ignore the screams and random tree trunks swinging out of nowhere. But he seriously considered leaving if this kept up. And it showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

"Won't they ever be quiet no da?" Chichiri muttered to himself as he stood up and reeled in his line to leave. However, just as he stood up, the tree came swinging his way, forcing him to duck. "Watch it no da!" He said as Nuriko lost his grip on the tree and let it fall inches from where Chichiri was standing.

"NO DA!" Chichiri screamed in shock as he watched the tree fall into the water. A few seconds later, Nuriko grabbed it again and proceeded to pick it up.

Now Chichiri would of left at that moment (And later he'll realize this himself) but something stopped him. His fishing line was caught on something underwater. He stopped to stare at it. Had he actually caught something? Amazing, he never caught anything before, and this one seemed REALLY big. A bit too big in fact. For as the tree rose out of the water and swung back towards Tamahome and Tasuki, Chichiri realized he had hooked a branch on the tree.

"NO DAAAAAAA!" He yelled as he was pulled into the air along with his fishing pole. He chose to hold on or else he would be thrown who knows how far.

At this time, Tamahome saw someone who might be able to help him. Mitsukake was strolling around looking for Tama-neko, his cat. But he was having no luck.

"MITSUKAKE, BUDDY!" Tamahome yelled from the pond. Mitsukake turned around to see who had yelled and almost fainted at the sight of a half bald Tamahome! (A scary sight indeed)

"T-Tamahome?" Mitsukake said incredulously as he watched the 'thing' crawl out of the pond.

"Hey Mitsukake, can you heal this?" He asked motioning to his head, which was wet, burnt and half bald. Also, Tamahome kept randomly coughing up pond water and little fish.

"Stay away from me you freak!" Mitsukake whimpered as he turned to run.

"But were pals! Won't you help me?"

" I'm NOT affiliated with you!" He yelled as he took off. As he was running, he saw Tama-neko and ran towards him, causing Tama-neko to run away too.

"What are you talking about? HEAL ME!" Tamahome yelled as he ran off after Mitsukake.

"Oh no! You're are NOT getting away that easily!" Tasuki yelled as he pulled out his tessen and climbed out of the pond in pursuit of revenge!

"GET BACK HERE YOU JERK!" Nuriko screamed and climbed out after Tasuki, tree still in hand. And because Chichiri was clinging to his fishing line for dear life and the line was caught on the tree, he was forced to follow.

"Please stop No da! I wish to LIVE NO DA!" Chichiri called out as he hit the ground and was dragged through the garden of ashes against his will. Nuriko however, didn't hear the monk's pleas of mercy and continued running after Tasuki. In fact, Nuriko probably didn't even notice Chichiri at all because he was so strong. Dead weight doesn't affect strong people like Nuriko! At this time, Chichiri had started praying to Suzaku that he would come out of this alive.

* * *

And now... we return to modern day Japan. (Without the assistance of a time machine!) 

Yuki walked out of his room, wiping his forehead. He had just successfully hidden the soup against his will. It was now under his bed... making his whole room smell of burning leeks and smoke. Needless to say, Yuki wouldn't be getting any surprise visits from Kyo for awhile. Needless to say, Kyo never visited Yuki anyway.

"And then Yuki had to put the poor little thing to rest, so he did the only thing he could. He hit it on the hear with a pitchfork!" Tohru sniffed. She was still in the kitchen making up some bizarre fantasy about a non-existent pet. Yuki sighed and walked away.

"Ah Yuki, did you finish lunch?" Shigure asked as he walked into the room. Yuki face vaulted.

"Um... no, Kyo ate it all." Yuki lied.

"Well, that was rude!" Shigure commented. He sighed and stroked his chin like the great novelist that he was. "Well, tell Tohru not to make him anything else. He's probably full."

"Okay... I will." Yuki said with a little smile. Now Kyo was getting NO lunch. Perhaps his little plan would take effect after all! He laughed to himself. Shigure stared.

"Yuki, you're not on anything, are you?" Shigure asked when he saw Yuki laughing maniacally to himself. Yuki stopped, stared at Shigure and walked out of the room without saying anything.

"I'll go check his room later." Shigure said to himself. Then he picked up the paper and started reading. There was a history section on ancient China this week! Shigure smiled and read on, not once wondering why a newspaper without a history section would suddenly have one.

Meanwhile, Kyo was in his room, plugging his nose. That awful smell was coming right down the hall to his room.

"If I live, I'm gonna kill that damn rat!" Kyo muttered as he put his head under a pillow. It didn't work. The smell was so strong, it burnt the pillow! Kyo sat up with a handful of ashes and held his breath wondering what to do. Suddenly, it hit him! He would go to his retreat!

Shigure was still reading about Ancient China. He laughed when he read the part involving constellations.

"Who comes up with this weird stuff?" he asked himself as he shook his head in disbelief. He swore he would eat himself if the day ever came in which he met someone named Tamahome! Even so, he continued reading the bogus article.

Tohru was still describing the after life of the non-existent pet.

By now, Kyo had found his retreat! He was now sitting peacefully on the roof of the Sohma house, smiling. It was perfect! That smell would never reach him up here! It was a foolproof plan. And he sat there, thinking to himself just how much he hated rats and leeks. And even more, how much he hated rats EATING leeks!

"Lunch is ready!" A familiar voice called out. It seemed Tohru had finally come to her sense and cooked lunch. Kyo jumped off the roof instantly. After all, he was STARVED!

"Ah, lunch looks delicious!" Yuki commented when he saw the feast Tohru had prepared.

"Uh-huh, I made it all in honor of your pet!" Tohru exclaimed happily. Yuki sweatdropped.

"You have a pet, Yuki?" Shigure asked out of curiosity. Yuki sweatdropped again.

"It's a long story."

"Oh, okay then." Shigure said. Then he went back to reading about Ancient China. He was reading the part explaining the Suzaku No Miko! He chuckled upon reading this.

"Shigure, aren't you going to eat anything?" Tohru asked, looking a bit hurt. Shigure nodded his head and picked up one chopstick and proceeded to stick it in his mouth. He didn't even bother putting the paper down... or putting food on the chopstick. Even so, it made Tohru happy.

"Alright, lunch is ready! I'm starved!" Kyo said when he entered the room.

"But Kyo, I thought you weren't hungry." Tohru said. And sure enough, there wasn't a place set for Kyo.

"Who the hell told you that?" Kyo demanded. Yuki put his head down and said nothing.

"Yuki said you already ate!" Shigure said, gnawing on a chopstick and STILL reading the paper.

"Really? Yuki told me you were going on a diet!" Tohru exclaimed. Kyo balled his hands into fists in fury.

"Why the hell would I be on a diet!" He practically yelled. Tohru looked as if she was going to cry.

"Well, what did you eat for lunch then?" Tohru asked, holding back tears.

"NOTHING!"

"But Yuki said you ate that soup he made." Shigure said, finally looking up from the paper.

"WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EAT THAT CRAP!" Kyo screamed. Tohru's hair got blown back.

"You really think my food is that bad?" Tohru said through the lump in her throat.

"I didn't mean your food! I meant HIS!" Kyo yelled, pointing towards Yuki. Yuki didn't move an inch. "You heard me! I know it's you, you damn rat!"

"Wait, are you saying you DIDN'T eat the soup?" Shigure asked. The fight was keeping him from reading the paper.

"NO! WHY WOULD I EAT THAT CRAP?" Kyo yelled in fury. This time it blew Tohru right over on to the floor.

"Then where is the soup?" Shigure asked.

"Yuki gave it to his pet!" Tohru said, wiping her tears away. This idea made her extremely happy.

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A PET?" Both Shigure and Kyo yelled at the same time. Yuki sweatdropped and got up to leave.

"I'm not hungry." he said, then left. Both Kyo and Shigure watched him leave with strange expressions. Tohru hung her head glumly.

"I don't blame him. I wouldn't be hungry either if my pet was suffering from stomach ulcers and athlete's foot." Tohru said sadly. Shigure and Kyo looked at each other in disbelief.

"Whatever, I'm out of here!" Kyo said. Then he left to go back on to the roof and concoct a way to finally beat Yuki! Shigure continued reading the paper and gnawing on a chopstick and Tohru sat in misery, trying to figure out a way to save the non-existent pet.

Kyo went back on to the roof, still muttering stuff about diets to himself. He sat down and sighed. It was then he noticed the smell.

"DAMMIT!" He yelled and plugged his nose. Then the roof collapsed because the smell had weakened the rafters holding it up. Kyo and the roof came crashing through the house and there was much more swearing.

* * *

Meanwhile, there was still a mad Seishi chase going on in another century... 

While all this was happening, Chiriko had decided to take a short stroll outside. Bad idea Chiriko, I thought you were the smart one here. Did the character on your foot disappear or something? Actually, it had. That was the reason Chiriko was out here in the first place. He couldn't study if he didn't know anything!

As Chiriko was walking, he heard a small meow. It was TAMA-NEKO! But why was Mitsukake's cat running and looking so frightened? (Wouldn't you be frightened if a bunch of mad seishi were running after you, especially if one had a TREE!) But Chiriko didn't have time to ponder an answer, because 1) His brain had stopped functioning and 2) Tama-neko jumped into his arms at that time.

"What the..." Chiriko said as he saw a dust cloud getting nearer and nearer. As it got closer and closer, Chiriko could see that it was a herd of maddened seishi coming straight for HIM!

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Nuriko's voice rang from the cloud of mass terror. Of course, Chiriko thought this was directed at him so he ran too.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAA!" He cried, still holding Tama-neko. This caused Mitsukake to run after Chiriko as he didn't watch to lose sight of his cat. This led Tamahome to follow and so on and so forth. So now we have a whole line of seishi's trying to catch each other. (Aside from Nuriko, he's actually trying to KILL someone...)

Wow, now all we need is Hotohori and were all set. Speaking of which, it was at this time Hotohori decided to step outside for a bit of fresh air. Man, that guy has bad timing!

"What on earth is that?" Hotohori asked himself as he felt the ground shake because of the approaching seishi. He soon found out.

"They're trying to kill me!" Chiriko yelled as he ran past the Emperor crying. As he did, he splashed some dirt on the Emperor due to the fact that Hotohori was standing right next to the BIGGEST MUD PUDDLE KNOWN TO HUMANITY! (He should know better) Of course, because he was so shocked by Chiriko, he didn't move.

Next came Mitsukake, chasing after Tama-neko and Chiriko.

"I'm NOT, I'm NOT! Leave me alone you DEMON!" (Ha-ha) Mitsukake yelled as he ran past the Emperor in terror, splashing even more mud on him. Hotohori watched him run past and once again was shocked.

"Why won't you heal me!" Tamahome called out with his arms outstretched. He still had a fish on his shoulder and he still had only half his hair, so you can imagine how scared Hotohori was by this sight.

"What is that thing?" He said to himself as Tamahome(?) ran past him. And yes, he splashed even more mud onto him.

"I"M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET!" Tasuki called after Tamahome. "REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled and fired it in Tamahome's direction. Of course he missed because he was still a bit dazed from being knocked out by a seashell and instead of hitting Tamahome, it hit the muddle puddle. And you can guess where all that mud landed, right? That's right, HOTOHORI! (Poor guy) Of course, he was STILL to shocked to move even an inch, so he just stood there.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!" Nuriko called out as he came sprinting with a tree above his head. (So that's where that tree went! Hotohori had noticed they were missing a tree.) Hotohori watched as Nuriko ran past, splashing more mud on to him. He also had to duck so he wouldn't get hit by the tree.

"LET ME GO NO DA!" Chichiri called out as he tried to stand up. Instead he started spinning around and landed head first into the mud puddle, splashing Hotohori AGAIN!

"Sorry your majesty no da!" He called out as he was dragged away. Hotohori stared as the mud covered monk was dragged away.

"Wow..." Hotohori said to himself. Now that all the commotion had ceased, he finally got the chance to look at himself. And much to his dismay, he found he was completely covered with MUD!

"AAAARGGGGHHHHH!" He yelled and pulled out his sword! "Someone will die for this!" He yelled and ran after the rest of the Suzaku seven. Now they were all chasing each other!

At this time, their savior was just stepping outside to look for her love, TAMAHOME! (bad idea) Yes, it was MIAKA to the rescue. Not that she knew she was going to be rescuing anyone so early in the morning. (Tis the life of a Miko) She would be even MORE surprised to find she was rescuing her seishi from THEMSELVES!

"Miaka they are trying to KILL ME!" Chiriko yelled as he jumped into Miaka's arms for protection. At this time, Tama-neko jumped to the ground and took his seat beside Miaka, as if this was his plan all along. (But we all know that's impossible)

"Who's trying to kill you?" Miaka asked.

"They are!" Chiriko said and pointed towards the giant dust cloud that was advancing.

"Miaka, are you alright?" Mitsukake said as he stopped in front of her. "You look shocked, do you need me to heal you?" He said, out of breath.

"No, I'm fine." She said. By now, she had fallen to the ground in shock.

"No Mitsukake, heal your BEST FRIEND!" Tamahome called out, arms still outstretched. Mitsukake's eyes widened, but he didn't run. He couldn't leave the priestess with that... THAT THING!

"Tamahome? Is that you?" Miaka asked the 'thing'.

"Yes it is my love." He said romantically.

"Oh Tamahome, I almost died and you came to save me! I LOVE YOU!" She yelled.

"AND I LOVE YOU!" Tamahome said. The two of them got lost in each others eyes, which were all sparkling and shining! Mitsukake just stared and Chiriko was still crying.

"REKKA SHINEN!" A familiar voice called out as a blast of fire shot out from Tasuki's tessen. It was headed right towards Miaka.

"Miaka, I'll save you..." Tamahome said as he lunged in front of the flame.

"Tamahome, NOOOO!" Miaka screamed as the one she loved got burnt to a crisp. Then Tamahome's demon symbol appeared in a flash of red light.

"So it is you, Tamahome!" Mitsukake said as he watched the 'thing' get fried.

"Tamahome, say something to me!" Miaka sobbed as she watched Tamahome get up from the ground.

"I- I'm okay..." He said, brushing himself off.

"He deserved it!" Tasuki accused as he stopped in front of Miaka. He put his tessen away.

"What are you talking about? He's TAMAHOME! He's never deserved anything like this!" Miaka screamed. And then, just as she was wishing for something really BAD to happen to Tasuki, something really bad happened to Tasuki!

"GOT YOU!" Nuriko said as the tree he had been running around with for the past half hour FINALLY made contact with Tasuki's head.

"WHAT DID YA DO THAT FOR!" Tasuki yelled after being clobbered.

"You deserved it after you FRIED me with that fan!" Nuriko accused. Then he tossed the tree aside.

"NO DA! Let me go no da!" Chichiri yelled as he was flung aside with the tree. (Remember, he never let go.)

"Was that Chichiri?" Miaka asked, getting up to investigate.

"Miaka, don't leave me!" Tamahome called out to her.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." Miaka said, returning to her love's side.

"Where did you come from?" Nuriko asked when he saw the 3 foot monk half buried under a massive tree. He moved it off of him and Chichiri proceeded to get up.

"You've been dragging me around for awhile now no da. It was VERY painful no da." He said, trying to straighten his hair, which was blown back.

"Oh, er, sorry about that." Nuriko said.

"Don't worry about it no da. Although I suggest you hide now no da." The monk suggested as he ducked behind the tree. He would have disappeared into his kasa, but he lost it while he was being dragged through the palace grounds.

"Why do we need to hide?" Tasuki asked as he watched the monk hide in terror. But he need not have asked for at that moment, who should come running up, but the MUD COVERED HOTOHORI! And he was MAD!

"Whoever did this to me shall die!" He said, flourishing his sword high above his head (Much like Nuriko was doing with that tree moments before.) "WELL, which one of you was it?" He yelled again.

All the seishi looked at him nervously, for Hotohori at MAXIMUM rage was a very scary thing indeed. Even scarier than Nuriko's maximum rage... and that's saying something.

"Please Hotohori, they didn't mean it!" Miaka said, tears coming to her eyes and she attempted to save her seishi from her seishi. "Let them live. Won't you do that for me?"

"Miaka, I..." Hotohori said as he dropped his sword. "I'm sorry. If you don't want them to die, then they won't."

"Good, now that that's settled, can we get breakfast? I'm starved!" Miaka said, brushing away her fake tears. All the of the seishi sweat-dropped. Typical Miaka.

"Sure, let's go eat." Tamahome said, coming to Miaka's side. Their eyes started to sparkle again.

"Belch, if you two don't cut that out, I'm gonna hurl!" Tasuki said to the two lovebirds. Of course, they paid no attention to him and continued walking.

"So Tamahome, how did all of that start?" Miaka asked him out of curiosity.

"I'm not sure. All the sudden Tasuki stated chasing me. I guess it all started from there." Tamahome said innocently.

"Quit playing around! You know darn well you pushed me into that pond!" Tasuki accused.

"Are you accusing ME of doing that?" Tamahome said as he turned to face Tasuki. "I did no such thing in my life."

LIAR!" Tasuki said as he reached back for his tessen.

"Now wait a minute, if Tamahome said he didn't, then he must be telling the truth!" Miaka said, defending her love from fire. Tamahome smiled at her.

"Well, if he didn't, then who did?" Hotohori asked the rest of them. The seishi were silent.

"Meow." Tama-neko said from the sidelines. All the seishi looked down at the innocent cat and sweat-dropped. It had been Tama-neko the WHOLE time? Never, I repeat NEVER, underestimate cats! (Especially this one!)

* * *

Back to our roof predicament in modern day Japan... 

"Oh My Gosh! Kyo are you alright?" Tohru asked when Kyo and the roof landed at her feet. Kyo got up, grumbling to himself.

"Does it look like I'm alright!" he said to her. Tohru was near crying again.

"You're going to have to fix that!" Shigure commented when he heard the crash. Then it sunk in and he went to go see what happened! "KYO! MUST YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING!" Shigure yelled when he saw the state of his house. He put down the paper and ran to the phone. Ancient China would have to wait, this was urgent! He called the "Fixing Roofs Is Our Specialty" company.

"Hello." an old man said on the other line.

"Hello, I need your help right away!" Shigure said to him.

"Have too much snow on your roof?" He asked.

"No..." Shigure said.

"Did your roof collapse due to the smell of burnt soup and a cursed teen?" He asked.

"No. wait..." Shigure paused and sniffed the air. "YES!"

"We'll be right over." He said and hung up. A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door.

"That was quick." Shigure said as he went to let them in. Maybe they had one of those kesa robes like in Ancient China! He let them in and they got right to work.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Konan Palace... 

"Now then, I've been meaning to tell you that we are going to have a visitor later on today." Hotohori told the seishi. They all sweat dropped.

"Who's coming no da?" Chichiri asked.

"Um... a... I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise!" Hotohori said with a little laugh. All the seishi glared at him.

"Well, when are they coming?" Tamahome asked.

"Hey, where's Tasuki and Nuriko?" Hotohori asked. Chichiri pointed outside to the pond. Sure enough, Nuriko had thrown him in and was torturing him again. The Seishi burst out into a fit of giggles as they watched Tasuki struggle to stay alive and dodge sticks at the same time.

10 minutes later

"So, who's the visitor no da?" Chichiri asked again. The others nodded in agreement.

"And if I'm not mistaken, our visitor should be here in the quarter after the next hour. However, if the prevailing winds were to take a slight break and pick up a centimeter due east, the time could vary between 1 to 2 hours at the most. I suspect it won't be a problem for them if they leave two minutes earlier though." Chiriko said helpfully out of nowhere.

"Uhhh..." They all said, wondering what in the heck he just said.

"You got your character back no da?" Chichiri asked.

Precisely!" Chiriko said happily. "I determined that if I were to get it just 1/10 of a millisecond of a normal second I would not have figure it out. But if you use the Pythagorean theorem plus a change purse, it's all quite-"

"Okay, you can stop now!" Tamahome said, looking out the window to see if Tasuki had drowned yet. He was still flailing around. Nuriko was poking him with a stick now and then too.

"So Chiriko, do you know who the visitor is no da?" Chichiri asked the smart seishi. Chiriko thought to himself for a bit, pondering. The other seishi watched him stand there, waiting. Except for Tamahome, he was laughing at Tasuki.

"After much thought and consideration, I have come to my final conclusion!" Chiriko said dramatically.

"And?" Hotohori asked, even though he already knew who it was going to be.

"I haven't the slightest idea!" Chiriko said, rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed way. The other seishi fainted.

"I thought you were supposed to be SMART!" Tamahome said after he got up from the floor. He hit his head pretty good too.

"What do you think I am? Some kind of genius!" Chiriko asked in an offended way.

"YES!" They all shouted at once. Chiriko blushed and smiled.

"Well, I guess we should fish Tasuki out of the pond now." Hotohori suggested as the rest of the seishi recovered.

"I know who the visitor is no da!" Chichiri said happily. "It's Seiryu, right no da?"

"Um... yeah.. I'm pretty sure." Hotohori said. Then it all sunk in.

"SEIRYU!" They all yelled at once. Then they fainted and Chichiri went to find his missing kasa and help Tasuki.

"How long does it take to fix a roof?" Yuki asked. The repairmen were inspecting the damage and getting supplies out.

"What is that for?" Kyo asked when they took out a big metal shovel.

"This is to hit anyone who gets in our way!" The repairman said. The Sohma's all took a few steps back and sweatdropped.

"There it is no da!" Chichiri said, spying his kasa under a fallen tree. He snapped his fingers and the tree rolled over, revealing a very beaten up kasa lying in the mud. He picked it up and noticed blue electricity coming out of it every now and them. One of them hit his hand.

"Ow no da!" He said, massaging his hand. "It must have short circuited." He said, inspecting it further. Who would have though Chichiri's kasa was an electronic ahead of it's time!

* * *

About a half and hour later, the roof was fixed. This company was known for it's fast work! 

"However can we thank you?" Tohru asked when the roof was finished. The repairman held out his hand.

"You can pay us!" He said. Tohru sweatdropped and smiled.

* * *

"Thanks for saving me!" Tasuki said. He had just been saved from the Pond of Death and was now sitting on the palace floor. 

"No problem." Hotohori told him. "It's our duty a Celestial Warriors."

"And it's our duty to summon Seiryu!" A familiar voice called out from the doorway.

"IT'S SEIRYU!" The Suzaku Seven screamed!

"You won't get away this time!" Tomo laughed. "KAKAKAKAKAKA!"

"Dude, that is creepy." Nuriko commented.

"You aren't still mad about last night are you?" Hotohori asked.

"Shut up!" Soi shouted.

"It was just for fun!" Tasuki said. Sure, it had been kinda mean, but it was funny when everyone came running out because of the smell, screaming like little girls. Besides, it had been Tamahome's idea to set off stink bombs there in the first place.

"Everyone, into the hat na no da!" Chichiri shouted and threw his hat on to the floor. He completely forgot it had short circuited.

"Your not getting away that easily!" Nakago yelled. Then the Seiryu Seven and the Suzaku Seven and their Miko's all dove for the hat at the same time!

* * *

"Well, it sure cost a lot, but it looks great!" Shigure commented and looked at the roof. 

"I'm shocked they did it so fast!" Tohru said.

"They even got rid of the smell!" Kyo yelled.

"What was that?" Yuki said. The four of them stopped to listen. Sure enough, they could here the wind pick up and then there was a small BANG! A second later, 16 people from Ancient China fell right through the newly fixed roof.

"DAMMIT! NOT AGAIN!" Kyo yelled when he saw the roof in pieces once again. Shigure face vaulted and Yuki and Tohru sweatdropped as the mass of foreign people struggled to get up.

* * *

AN: Well... there ya go. Chapter 1... the longest chapter in the WORLD! (unless y'all can prove us otherwise... it IS!) we don't have any questions now but we'll answersome next chapter... you can send your questions to... TAMAHOME! 

Tamahome: I AM NOT DOING IT!

Bubbles: Yes you are.

Tamahome: What's the point... I'm not getting paid

Goldfish: Yes you are.

Bubbles: If you don't, Miaka... will... um... die. Yes..um.. she'll die.

Tamahome: MIAKA!

Goldfish: But since you don't wanna do it...we'll get...

Tamahome: MIAKA!

Bubbles: Okay! We'll have Miaka answer questions!

So stay tuned for the next chapter and send your questions to Miaka! (Tamahome faints)


	2. In which everyone argues

Well... since no one sent any questions to our dear Miaka...(Who's crying...alot) We won't do that... heheh And I don't have alot of time so I'll do the disclaimer!

Goldfish078: WE DON'T OWN THESE TWO WONDERFUL ANIMES!

Bubbles078: How sad...

Chichiri: NO DA!

sweatdrop

**Chapter 2:** In Which Everyone Argues And A Random Fire Occurs:

"MY ROOF! MY NEWLY FIXED ROOF! WHY ME?" Shigure screamed in agony.

"What happened?" Miaka asked. "Tamahome, get off my head!" She said, pushing the unconscious seishi off her. She looked around.

"Something must be wrong with my hat na no da." Chichiri muttered, picking up the burnt kasa. It sparked again and hit Kyo.

"WHAT ARE YOU!" Kyo yelled from the floor. The jolt sent him flying back a few feet.

"What do you mean what am I?" Hotohori yelled in rage. He got up and towered over Kyo. Kyo cringed. "I happen to have total control over you!"

"What are you talking about?" Kyo asked him. Hotohori glared.

"You mean you've never heard of me?" Hotohori asked, thoroughly shocked. He fell back a few steps, leaning against the wall for support.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Kyo snapped.

Nuriko stepped up, "Why… he is the emperor of Konan!" Nuriko went over to Hotohori and pulled him into a giant hug. "And he's mine!"

"Nuriko, get off of me!" Hotohori said.

"The emperor? … Emperor from what fantasy?" Kyo said in disgust.

"Um… fantasy?" Nuriko said. "What are you talking about?"

"MY ROOF!" Shigure wailed.

The seishi all looked around, "Where are we?" Nakago said.

"And you are…?" Yuki said.

"I am a general… FEAR ME!" Nakago replied holding up his hand. He started to glow blue.

"HIGH FIVE!" Tohru squeaked. She ran up to Nakago and slapped his hand. Nakago stared at her with wide eyes.

"Tomo… this isn't an illusion is it?" Miboshi said.

"I don't think so… my clam ran out of batteries…" (another electronic device ahead of its time)

Tohru looked at this 'clam' with wide eyes and looked at the person/thing holding it and screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Miss Honda are you okay?" Yuki asked, running up to where she had fallen backwards.

"Yeah, but that…. 'thing' is scary!" She said, shaking. She pointed to where Tomo was standing.

"YOU! It was YOU who scared Miss Honda!" Yuki accused. Tomo looked at him as scoffed.

"You dare accuse me and Shin of scaring this child?" Tomo said, feeling hurt.

"What's a Shin?" Yuki asked. Tomo held up the clam.

"THAT'S JUST A DAMN SEASHELL!" Kyo said, finally standing up. Tomo still looked hurt. (Scary)

"It's a CLAM! And it has a name you know." Tomo said, holding his precious Shin close to him.

"You named it?" Yuki asked, sweatdropping.

"WHAT KINDA SISSY NAMES A CLAM?" Kyo yelled. Tomo glared at him. Tohru cringed.

"I told you before, it's SHIN!"

"You wanna make something of it you painted freak?" Kyo said in a menacing voice. Tomo turned to face Kyo. Was he just going to stand there and be mocked out of existence because he named food? NO, Tomo was NOT going to do that. Instead, he would reveal to us a side of Tomo we've never seen before! BLACK BELT TOMO!

"KAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tomo yelled as he lunged at Kyo. Kyo sweatdropped at this scary sight. Kyo dodged Tomo's punches and threw one of his own. BUT OF CORSE IT WAS JUST AN ILLUSION! "WHAT THE HELL?" Kyo exclaimed.

Shigure interrupted this 'fight' and said, "Umm… excuse me. But before any more of my house is destroyed… can we please act like civilized people! We're not in ancient China!" he added with a chuckle. Obviously he amuses himself quite easily…(I sweatdrop)

"WE'RE NOT?" all the Seishi screamed at one. The Sohma's and Tohru sweatdropped.

"Um.. no… We're not even in China! This is Japan… MODERN Japan." Kyo said.

"Chichiri!…." Everyone said as they turned on the monk.

"NO DA!" Chichiri said as he cringed. He quickly hid the burnt kasa behind his back.

"You came from ANCIENT CHINA!" Shigure said, his eyes sparkling at the very thought. This time the Seishi sweatdropped.

"Um… yeah." Tasuki pointed out.

"WHO THE HELL IS THAT?" Kyo yelled when Tasuki got off the ground. The sight of someone with hair as orange as his shocked him.

"I should be asking that. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? "Tasuki shot back quickly. This shocked Kyo even more. Only he was supposed to swear that good.

"Looks like you've found your long lost twin!" Nuriko exclaimed happily, slapping Tasuki on his back. The force sent Tasuki flying right into Tohru, who was still on the floor.

"Get OFF Miss Honda!" Yuki yelled. He was losing his cool.

"Mr. Sohma are you okay?" Tohru said from under Tasuki.

"Yes I'm ok-… did you just call me Mr. Sohma?" Yuki asked her. Tohru blushed.

"Please don't ruin my house?"

Nakago looked around this 'house' and said, "Let's go back to Kuto now!"

"There is a slight problem… we can't no da." Chichiri said looking up at his fellow seishi.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T?" Tasuki yelled.

"Did you see my kasa no da?" Chichiri said blushing.

"I'm hungry!" (We all know who said that)

"MIAKA! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE HUNGRY!" Tasuki yelled finally getting off of Tohru.

"Well... when is the RIGHT time to be hungry?" Miaka replied.

"Right now! I just finished making lunch!" Tohru replied happily just getting her breath back.

"YOU CAN'T JUST INVITE PEOPLE INTO OUR HOUSE TOHRU!" Kyo screamed.

"Why not? She said she was hungry!" Tohru said a little offended.

"Guys… what about Tamahome?"

"Tama…home…" Shigure started. He then put his hand into his mouth and started to gnaw on it.

"Shigure! What are you doing?" Kyo said a little embarrassed now.

"Nothing!" Shigure mumbled gnawing still on his hand.

"Come on everyone, there's enough food for everyone!" Tohru exclaimed happily. She motioned to the table where the food was. Miaka was already making herself comfortable.

"I dunno about that." Tasuki said, scratching the back of his neck. Tohru just smiled.

"That was delicious!" Miaka said, getting up from the table. Everyone sweatdropped when they saw all the food was gone. Miaka you pig!

"SHE ATE EVERYTHING!" Kyo yelled in horror. He was still starving.

"She told me I could have something to eat."

"She said SOMETHING! Not EVERYTHING!" Tasuki yelled.

"I'm sorry…." Miaka muttered. "I was just sooo hungry. If you want I an help you make some more." She offered. All the Seishi sweatdropped as if their worst nightmare was coming true, which it was.

"Okay, you can help me cook if you want!" Tohru said happily. She was always glad to have some help in the kitchen.

"I wouldn't if I were you…" Tasuki muttered.

"Why not?"

"Miaka is not what you'd call a good cook no da." Chichiri pointed out.

"She's not?"

"I'm not?" Miaka gasped. She felt hurt and betrayed. "I am too! I'll prove it. I'll show all of you!" Miaka screamed. Then she ran off to parts unknown. Everyone watched her leave and sweatdropped.

"I advise you to steer clear of anything Miaka cooks for you." Nuriko said helpfully.

"Hey guys… where is the kitchen?" Miaka asked, turning back to the Sohma's/ They all sweatdropped again.

"HOLD IT! WHO THE HELL ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE?" Kyo screamed before Miaka could run off again!

"Well… we're the Suzaku Seven!" Hotohori exclaimed.

"HEY!" Nakago said in his monotone voice.

"And the Seiryu Seven…"

"Well that doesn't help much!" Kyo exclaimed.

"IT SHOULD!" Mitsukake said.

"Oh you're awake Mitsukake! I didn't see you there!" Nuriko said.

"Nobody ever does…," Mitsukake said glumly. He sniffled a little bit.

"I'm Hotohori… the most beautiful man on earth!"

Just then Aya popped up and added, "That was before you met me!"

"I beg to differ!" Nuriko chimed in!

Aya went back to the Sohma estate… until LATER!

"Well I'm Chiriko! A child prodigy." Said Chiriko said getting up from the floor.

"Is your hair real? How do you get it to do that?"

"Um… SCIENCE!"

Kyo sweatdropped. You see… Kyo HATES science…

"I'm Nuriko… the emperor's TRUE LOVE!"

"I'm already married!" Hotohori said.

_Jeez that Nuriko chick is kinda cute!_ Kyo thought to himself.

"And besides Nuriko… you're a MAN!" Tasuki pointed out the obvious… at least it was obvious to the seishi!

"WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!" Kyo exclaimed.

"You thought I was a woman didn't you? Well I have to say I'm flattered by your mistake! You like me don't you? Who doesn't?" Nuriko said tossing his hair.

"I don't…"Mitsukake started.

Nuriko turned around and gave Mitsukake the BIGGEST glare ever… I call it the "Nuriko death glare"… Oh my gosh! It's BACK!

"I never liked you!" Kyo scoffed. _And I never will…_ he added to himself.

"And you… how do you get your hair to defy gravity like that?" Yuki asked Chichiri. Chichiri turned to face him.

"SCIENCE!" Chiriko yelled. Kyo cringed.

"Actually…. It's a secret no da." Chichiri said mysteriously. Insert scary music here

"Who are you? Some kinda freak?" Kyo asked him. Chichiri looked offended.

"I happen to be a sorcerer and one of the Suzaku Seven no da!" Chichiri told them.

"And your name is…." Yuki started.

"Oh… my names Chichiri no da!" He said, ginning. Yuki sweatdropped.

"What's wrong with your face?" Kyo asked him. Chichiri hung his head and walked out of the room. Tasuki took it upon himself to whack Kyo on the head with his tessen.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Kyo yelled angrily.

"You deserved it." Tasuki said, once again pointing out the obvious.

"WHY!" Kyo yelled again.

"No reason…" Tasuki said quietly.

"And who are you?" Yuki asked Tasuki.

"I'm TASUKI! Leader of the Mt. Reikaku Bandits! REKKA SHI-"

"Tasuki, don't burn the house down yet!" Nuriko said, cutting off Tasuki before he could complete his sentence.

"What do you mean "yet"?" Shigure asked.

"Nothing, nothing." Nuriko replied reassuringly. Shigure sweatdropped.

"Listen… this has been fun and all… but could we please hurry this up… I'm missing my soaps!" (Soap operas… NO DA!) Shigure complained.

"DEAL WITH IT!" Nakago screamed. "I haven't yet introduced myself!"

"Oh joy…" Shigure said sarcastically.

There was dead silence.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself?" Yuki asked.

"What? Are you talking to me?" Nakago said.

(A/N: _Honestly… what an idiot.)_

"I'm Nakago."

"That's it? I waited all this time for you to introduce yourself and all you have to say is 'I'm Nakago?" Shigure said.

"What else is there to say? I'M A GENERAL FEAR ME!" Nakago added.

(A/N: _Great job Nakago… we already know that you're a general.)_

"I… AM… TOMO… AND… THIS… IS… SHIN!" Tomo added. "KAKA"

"I think I'm going to like your damn clam more than I'm going to like you." Kyo said.

"I can fix that!" Nuriko said, a smirk on his face. He took _Shin_ and threw it out the window! (A/N: Way to fix the problem Nuriko!)

"SHIN!" Tomo said holding back tears. He ran toward the doorway, but before he left, he stopped and turned around. "I'll come back soon Nakago… my love." then he ran out to look for Shin. Nakago sweatdropped.

"He's in love with you?" Kyo asked, also sweatdropped.

"NO! Nakago loves me!" Soi said, finally regaining consciousness. She got up and hugged Nakago.

"Soi… get off me…." Nakago said in his monotone voice.

"Who's that? Another one of your lovers?" Kyo mocked.

"Yes! I am Soi of the Seiryu Seven!" Soi said dramatically.

"Excuse me!" Yui said, also getting up.

"Wait! YOU LOVE HIM TOO!" Kyo yelled.

"Sort of…" Yui said quietly.

"Lady Yui…. You do?" Suboshi said, also getting up.

"Oh Suboshi, I didn't see you there!" Yui blushed.

"Don't tell me! He likes him too!" Kyo accused, pointing at Suboshi. Suboshi blushed.

"I do not! I love Lady Yui!"

"Who the hell is Lady Yui?" Kyo asked, getting very fed up with the whole thing.

"I am." Yui said, raising her hand up. Kyo looked like he was ready to strangle them all.

"So who are you?" Yuki asked Suboshi.

"He's my younger brother." Amiboshi said, rising to face the stunned Sohmas. The Sohmas sweatdropped.

"There are two of you?" Kyo screamed, falling to the floor. He felt outnumbered.

"You idiot, we're twins!" Suboshi said, raising his yo-yos to attack.

"Suboshi, don't do that!" Amiboshi told him. Suboshi lowered them and put his head down.

"I'm sorry brother…" He said in a small voice. He sounded like he was going to cry.

"This is pathetic." Kyo stated, still sitting on the floor.

"What were those things?" Shigure asked cautiously. He didn't want anything destroying his house again!

"Those are his weapons. With them he can kill you all! FEAR HIM!" Nakago said helpfully. Shigure took a few steps away from Suboshi, who still looked like he was ready to cry his heart out for his brother.

"Suboshi, pull yourself together you nerd!" Miboshi said from where he was floating. The Sohmas looked down to see a little Buddah Boy floating there. They all screamed!

"What the hell is that?" Said (guess who) KYO!

"I am Miboshi! Don't think you can control me for I am hundreds of years old and I can instantly summon demons, take over your body and KILL YOU!" Miboshi threatened. Kyo now looked like he was ready to cry.

"Point taken..." He whimpered. Then he got up and hid behind the couch.

"Why are you all so…. evil?" Shigure asked.

"I can easily kill you too!" Miboshi threatened again. Shigure ran and hid behind the couch with Kyo. Miboshi turned to Yuki, who was still standing there. "You too…" He said menacingly. Yuki cringed, but didn't run. He was a man! Men didn't run from religious babies!

"So, who else is there?" Shigure asked from behind the couch, hoping no one else would threaten to kill him off.

"Well, Ashitare is over there." Nakago said, pointing to the big hairy lump that lay next to Tamahome. Shigure sweatdropped.

"Is that human?" Kyo asked.

"We're not sure…. But he is part wolf." Nakago said boringly. Kyo ducked his head further behind the couch and grabbed Shigure's hand for comfort.

"GRRRROWWWLLLLGRR…" Ashitare mumbled in his sleep.

"What was that?" Yuki asked.

"Ashitare says he's hungry." Soi translated.

"What to wolf people eat?" Shigure asked, scared to know the answer.

"Human flesh…" Nakago said simply. Upon hearing this Kyo, nearly leapt under the couch and Shigure ran to the kitchen to help Tohru cook. Yuki still stood there, looking even more scared. Real men didn't run from cannibal wolf people either!

"What is this strange device?" Mitsukake asked out of nowhere. Everyone had completely forgotten about Mitsukake…AGAIN!

"That's a lamp." Yuki said when he saw what Mitsukake was poking at.

"Will it bite me?" Mitsukake asked him. Yuki sweatdropped when he heard this.

"Um… no." Yuki replied. "Who are you?"

"I am Mitsukake. I am boring and I heal peoples boo-boos." Mitsukake said in a boring voice. Yuki sweatdropped once again. He decided he wouldn't ask anything else and just stood there.

"Lunch is ready!" Tohru called from the kitchen. Everyone turned around to see Tohru come out with a pile of food. Miaka came behind her slowly. The Seishi noticed she was gagged.

"What happened to Miaka no da?" Chichiri asked when he saw the Priestess.

"She wouldn't stop eating everything." Tohru said simply. "So I gagged her."

"Miss Honda, I didn't realize you would-"

"I can take care of myself!" Tohru said. Then she tripped and the food went flying everywhere!

"Damn, at this rate, I'll never get to eat!" Tasuki grumbled, fingering his tessen. Chichiri gave him a warning glance.

"What was that crash?" Shigure said, racing back out of the kitchen. "You're not destroying my house are you?"

"Relax, ya stupidhead. We're not destroying your house yet!" Tasuki shot back. Shigure stopped running.

"Mi-a-ka…" A voice from nowhere called out. Everyone looked down on the floor to see a body half covered by plates of food.

"TAMAHOME!" Miaka called as she ripped the gag out of her mouth. She ran to her loves side to unbury him. "I'm so sorry my love."

"Who's this freak?" Kyo asked from under the couch. Miaka glared at him.

"TAMAHOME IS NOT A FREAK! HE'S THE GREATEST PERSON EVER!" Miaka yelled. Tamahome covered his ears. "Ah, he's awake."

"Gee, I wonder who woke him up." Tasuki grumbled some more.

"So who is this again?" Shigure asked as Miaka removed a tomato from Tamahome's head.

"His name is Tamahome and I love him!" Miaka replied dreamily. Shigure put his hand back in his mouth when he heard her.

"Would you quit eating yourself!" Kyo asked him. Shigure shook his head and continued to gnaw on his arm.

"Where am I?" Tamahome asked as he got up.

"I'M BACK!" called a voice from the doorway. Yes, Tomo had returned with Shin, his clam. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Seiryu's here!" Tamahome said, sitting up. He prepared to attack. "Why aren't we attacking?"

"Um, we're not in Konan anymore no da." Chichiri told him. Again, he hid the burnt kasa behind his back. Tamahome looked around in shock.

"Where are we?" He asked, startled.

"They said we're in modern Japan, whatever that is. But I don't believe them at all!" Tasuki said. He went to grab his tessen and was again stopped by Chichiri.

"It's true, you are in Japan." Yuki told them all. Tasuki still looked like he didn't believe them at all.

"So, how did you get here anyway?" Shigure asked them.

"Ask Chichiri." They all said in unison. Chichiri took a few steps back and blushed.

"I didn't mean to no da. But my kasa seems to have malfunctioned and brought us to another century no da." He explained.

"Kasa?" Yuki asked. Chichiri held up the burnt and shriveled up straw hat for them to see.

"Well, it used to be a kasa no da." He said, still blushing.

"Whatever, so how do we get back now?" Tasuki asked. No one had an answer to that. Everything was silent until Tohru stepped in.

"Oh, please don't leave yet! You just got here and we'd be more then happy to let you all stay!"

"WE WOULD?" Kyo yelled." WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR THEM!"

"I'm sure we'll work out something." Tohru assured him. Kyo sweatdropped and complained under his breath.

"How is anybody going to sleep here with no roof!" Shigure complained. Remember, the roof was non-existent at the moment.

"Oh, did we do that?" Tamahome asked. Shigure, Kyo and Yuki nodded glumly.

"Right, we're sorry about that." Nakago apologized.

"Don't worry about it!" Tohru told them happily.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TO WORRY?" Kyo yelled. He was getting mad.

"Would you stop yelling! Hell, I don't even know you and I already hate you!" Tasuki said in a loud voice. Kyo looked offended, but scowled at him anyway.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I never introduced us!" Tohru said. "I'm Tohru Honda!"

"And I'm Shigure Sohma." Shigure said in a nervous voice. These people still scared him a bit.

"I'm Yuki Sohma." Yuki said. Everyone turned to look at him.

"You look like a girl." Tasuki pointed out.

"Good-bye." Yuki said. Then he walked out of the room without saying anything else. After he left, everyone turned to face Kyo.

"I'm Kyo. Leave me alone." He scowled, avoiding Tasuki's glare. He didn't like Tasuki.

"That's it? There's no one else?" Tamahome asked. He tried to stand up, but Miaka was still hugging him so he was forced to stay seated.

"Well, there are more Sohmas, but they don't live here." Tohru told them.

"As long as we don't have to meet them, it's fine." Tasuki grumbled.

"Can't you be nicer no da?" Chichiri said under his breath. Tasuki glared at the monk and stopped talking.

"We'll probably meet them soon weather you like it or not." Chiriko said. Then his character faded away. "WHHAAAAAAAHHH! These people are scary!" He cried.

"What's the matter with him?" Kyo asked, plugging his ears.

"Nothing at all." Nuriko said, patting Chiriko on the head. "He goes through phases." He didn't feel like explaining about their powers right now.

"I can't stay here! I am the Emperor!" Hotohori said, looking around the house. He looked a bit disgusted.

"Excuse me. This house was FINE until you came and destroyed it!" Shigure said, defending his house.

"I realize that, but I am the Emperor!" Hotohori said back.

"Don't worry your Highness! Everything will be okay." Nuriko comforted him.

"Nuriko, get away from me. I love Miaka." Hotohori said, stepping away from Nuriko. Kyo also stepped away from Nuriko.

"What are you, paranoid or something?" Nuriko asked them as they all stepped back. No one said anything.

"So, what are we going to do about my living conditions?" Hotohori asked, getting ready to draw his sword if needed.

"I'll have to call the roofer people again…" Shigure muttered. The problem was that it was so expensive to have them fix it so fast. And then there was that shovel.

"Well, it's not going to fix itself!" Tasuki complained, kicking a piece of wood that lay at his feet.

"I guess I'll call the roof fixers then!" Tohru said happily. Then she skipped off to use the phone. But before she could pick it up to call, it rang!

"RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!" The phone rang in an annoying way. All the Seishi jumped.

"Quick everyone, prepare for war!" Nakago yelled, raising his hands to fire a chi blast. Hotohori also drew his sword to defend him and the Suzaku Seven.

"Chill out, haven't you ever heard a telephone before?" Kyo asked them. They all stared at Kyo.

"Teli-fo-whaty?" Tamahome asked them in a confused voice.

"Te-le-phone." Kyo said boredly. "Do you want me to spell it out for you or something?"

"That might prove to be useful…" Amiboshi pondered to himself.

"I say we kill the thing and let it beg for mercy!" Suboshi said, ready to charge in and kill it with his possessed yo-yos.

"Dude, it's not alive." Kyo told him.

"RRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!" The phone rang again. Once again, the Seishi jumped ten feet.

"Are you sure it's not a demon monster?" Tasuki asked them. Chichiri was about to put a barrier spell around them, but stopped when Tohru picked up a small black thing and asked it 'Hello'.

"Are you sure it won't kill us?" Tamahome said, making sure no harm would come to Miaka.

"Don't worry Tamahome, phones aren't alive!" Miaka soothed him. Tamahome calmed down and hugged her. Miaka smiled and Kyo coughed loudly.

"What do you mean?" Tohru yelled into the phone.

"Who's she talking to no da?" Chichiri asked Shigure.

"We'll find out as soon as she's done." Shigure told him, still panicking about what they would do to his house.

"Are you sure she's not communicating with some demon monster?" Tasuki asked, ready to pull out his tessen if needed.

"I'M SURE! WILL YOU QUIT ASKING THAT DAMN QUESTION?" Kyo yelled at him.

"SHUT UP!" Tasuki yelled back.

"Guys, please be quiet." Tohru called from the hallway. She put the phone back to her ear and stared talking again. "Sure you can come over, there's plenty of room!" She offered. Then she hung up and walked back into the living room.

"Who the hell was that?" Kyo asked, still angry.

"I have a surprise you guys!" Tohru said happily. Everyone sweatdropped upon hearing this news.

"What is it Miss Honda?" Yuki asked her kindly.

"Well, half the Sohma Estate burnt down so I invited them to stay over with us!" Tohru exclaimed while smiling.

"YOU WHAT?" Everyone in the room exclaimed.

"WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR NINE MORE PEOPLE!" Kyo screamed.

"NINE?" Tasuki yelled. Then he pulled out his tessen. "I ain't doing any more introductions!"

"MY HOUSE!" Shigure wailed.

"Don't worry, we have room for them all." Tohru exclaimed happily.

"Should we fear them?" Nakago asked. Everyone stared at him strangely.

"Don't worry Nakago, I'll protect you with all my life!" Soi said dreamily. Then she glomped him and Nakago looked terrified.

"DING-DONG!" Rang the doorbell (Does the house even have a doorbell?)

"DEMON!" The Seishi screamed at once.

"Relax, it's just a doorbell…" Yuki told them all.

"Is this another one of them tele-whatchamacallit things?" Tamahome asked.

"No!" Kyo said through gritted teeth. The Seishi relaxed a bit, but were still ready to use their powers if necessary.

Tohru opened the door to find the rest of the cursed Sohma's standing outside of it.

"HELLO!" Tohru exclaimed happily.

"We're sorry to barge in like this, but were glad you could take us in on such short notice." Hatori began as they all stepped inside.

"It's no problem, we have enough room." Tohru told them.

"Are you sure about that?" Momiji said when he saw the 16 people from ancient China standing in the living room.

"Who are earth are all these people?" Hatori asked, actually raising his voice for once.

"We are the Suzaku Seven and the Seiryu Seven!" Hotohori said proudly. "I am the Emperor of Konan!"

"Since when does the Emperor live here?" Haru asked.

"They just got here before you called." Tohru told the shocked Sohmas.

"How? And where did they come from?" Hatori asked, his voice back to it's normal tone.

"We came from The Universe Of The Four Gods!" Miaka chimed in. Everyone stared at Miaka. "And a few moments ago we fell through the roof because of Chichiri's kasa."

"I said I was sorry no da!" Chichiri muttered under his breath. He felt like they were all blaming him… and maybe they were!

"But there not staying here, right?" Ayame cut in. "I won't be able to get my beauty sleep with these people here!"

"But of course they're staying here! I can't kick out people with nowhere to go! It's inhuman!" Tohru said, tears starting to well up at the very thought of turning someone down like that.

"Okay, but where are they going to stay?" Momiji asked, walking up to the new guests. He looked at them with interest.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM US!" Tasuki yelled as Momiji took a step closer.

"WHAAAAAA! Kyo's twin is mean!" Momiji cried.

"He's NOT my twin!" Kyo screamed in anguish.

"Who are you people anyway? Go get me something to eat now!" Hiro spoke up form behind them. Everyone turned to face the bratty kid.

"Do you think you can order us around like that punk?" Tasuki asked, taking a step closer to Hiro. Hiro smirked.

"I'M SORRY! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!" Ritsu screamed.

"No it's not." Tohru told him. Ritsu started to flail around wildly. Shigure took it upon himself to poke Ritsu in the side. Ritsu fainted right away and fell on top of Momiji, who was still crying.

"EVERYBODY OUT NOW!" Shigure yelled. "I DON'Y WANT MY HOUSE DESTROYED ANY MORE!"

Everyone looked at Shigure and shuffled outside with strange expressions on their faces.

"Now then, where are we all going to sleep?" Hotohori asked when they all got outside. No one had an answer to that question.

"I'm sure we'll figure out something." Was all Tohru could come up with at the time.

"How? You don't even have a roof?" Tomo said. He was still hugging Shin tightly.

"What's with the seashell?" Haru asked him.

"It's not a seashell, it's a clam. And his name is Shin." Tomo said, still hugging Shin.

"Hey Tomo, why don't you make an illusion of a roof for us?" Tasuki suggested.

"NEVER! Shin is tired because a certain SOMEONE threw him out the window!" Tomo said, glaring at Nuriko.

"Since when do clams have genders?" Nuriko asked back. Tomo scoffed and turned away. He didn't want Shin to be scarred for life because of the sight of Nuriko!

"Well, make-up boy over here won't help us, so now what do we do?" Hotohori asked the group. They all shrugged.

"This is all your fault!" Hiro said, pointing to Tohru. Tohru went into panic mode. "Why'd you invite us over when you don't have a house?" Hiro asked her. Tohru didn't answer.

"Look one the bright side!" Ayame chimed. "I'M HERE!"

"So am I!" Hotohori said as if it would make everything all better. Then Hotohori saw Ayame standing there, surrounded by roses. He glared at him and wondered if his sparkles could compete.

"Brother, your making things worse." Yuki told Ayame. Ayame responded with his trademark laugh.

"Wait, are you all related or something?" Tasuki asked them. The Sohmas all turned to him.

"Yes, we're all related. You didn't know that?" Kyo asked him.

"Don't take it out on me!" Tasuki said back in an offended way. Kyo smirked at him.

"And I am there GOD!" Akito said randomly out of nowhere! Everyone turned to see the sickly teen standing there with his clothes falling off.

"You brought him here?" Kyo said when he saw Akito standing there.

"Well yeah, his house burnt down too." Haru pointed out.

"Brilliant." Kyo muttered sarcastically.

"I heard that…" Akito said eerily. Kyo took a few steps back.

"Who are all of you no da?" Chichiri finally asked them.

"I'm Ayame! And I'm beautiful!" Ayame said first. Hotohori glared again. Only he was allowed to be that beautiful.

"I'm Haru and I turn black…." Haru muttered under his breath. The Seishi sweatdropped… even if they had no idea what he was talking about.

"I'm Hiro. If you're smart you'll never talk to me!" Hiro said quickly.

"Bratty kid…" Tasuki muttered under his breath.

"I'm Hatori.." Hatori commented boringly. "I'm as cold as snow." Again, the seishi had no clue what he was talking about.

"I'M RITSU AND I'M SORRY FOR EXISTING!" Ritsu screamed in agony.

"Is he okay no da?" Chichiri asked the Sohmas. They just smiled and said nothing.

"I'm Kagura and I LOVE KYO!" She screamed, punching Kyo in the stomach.

"She has a strange way of showing it." Nuriko said as Kyo fell to the ground in pain. Miaka looked over at Tamahome who cringe, "Please don't' show your love for me like that!" Miaka blushed and smiled.

"I'm glad you don't do that." Hotohori said to Nuriko as he watched Kagura kill Kyo. Nuriko smiled. (Smile of Nuriko…)

"I'm Momiji!" Momiji said in a high voice. Then he ran around and fell to the ground because he had a pixie stick before he came and was currently on a sugar high.

"Who's that." Soi asked, pointing to Kisa, who hadn't said anything.

"That's Kisa! Leave her alone if you want to live!" Hiro said to them in a calm voice. None of the Seishi said anything more about Kisa.

"AND I AM THEIR GOD!" Akito screamed. Then he started coughing because he was sick and then he couldn't breath.

"Fool, you are not a God, only Seiryu is!" Nakago said rather quickly. Akito glared at the general.

"So is Suzaku!" Amiboshi cut in.

"What do you care about it? You're part of Seiryu!" Soi told him. Amiboshi shrugged and gripped his flute.

"But I like Suzaku better…." Amiboshi said under his breath.

"So who are all of you?" Hatori asked.

"Do we have to explain again?" Tasuki asked in a whiny voice.

"Yes… FEAR ME!" Nakago said. Tasuki cringed upon hearing this.

1 hour later

"That took forever!" Tasuki complained, falling to the ground. By the time they were done explaining themselves, it was night time.

"You really think you're more beautiful than me?" Ayame asked Hotohori. Hotohori glared before replying.

"Yes! You cannot compete with the Emperor of Konan!" Hotohori said in a dignified manner. Ayame didn't want to believe him.

"Would you to shut up?" Tomo said. They had been arguing about it ever since Hotohori introduced himself. And he was first! "Shin can't sleep with you two being so loud!"

"It's a freakin seashell! It's not ALIVE!" Tasuki said. He was tired of hearing about Shin and he was ready to smash the thing to pieces.

"Can we go inside? I'm cold!" Kyo complained, shivering. He seemed to be the only one who was cold though.

"Okay, let's go inside." Tohru said happily.

"Good idea Miss Honda. I think everyone is pretty tired." Yuki said.

"HELL NO!" Tasuki said. Apparently he wasn't tired at all.

"Besides him…" Yuki added quietly.

"Okay everyone, inside and DON'T destroy anything!" Shigure warned. Then all 29 people rushed for the door at the same time.

POOF All the Sohmas turned into animals.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Tasuki screamed when he found a seahorse flopping around on his head.

"What happened no da?" Chichiri asked, trying to push the petrified monkey off of his back. Yes, all the Sohmas had somehow transformed when they all ran for the door at the same time.

"YOU FOOLS!" Akito yelled. He was the only one who hadn't changed. "HATORI! ERASE THEIR MEMORIES!"

"WHAT?" The Seishi screamed when they heard. Unfortunately for Akito, Hatori was now a seahorse who was slowly suffocating on Tasuki's head. He couldn't do a thing about it.

"Tell me what is going on!" Nakago commanded. And because he was a general, they all obeyed.

1 more hour later

"And you thought we were weird." Tamahome said when the Sohmas finished explaining everything. By now they all had turned back but thankfully no one saw anything. Except Tomo kept claiming Shin was scarred for life because of what he just saw. Then Nuriko told him seashells can't see.

"Can we please go inside now?" Kyo whined. He was shivering because he was so cold. "What time is it?"

"Actually, it's only 8:00!" Tohru said, looking at a watch that magically appeared on her wrist. No one paid any attention to her and they all went inside, this time they were careful though.

"No what?" Hotohori asked when they all got inside.

"Hey, I thought the roof had shattered no da?" Chichiri said as he looked up.

"It was…" Nuriko told him, also looking up. Somehow the roof had magically fixed itself.

"MY HOUSE! IT'S FIXED!" Shigure rejoiced. Then he danced around until Tasuki clobbered him with his tessen, knocking him out.

"But who could have done this?" Amiboshi asked.

"IT WAS ME!" Mitsukake said randomly. They all turned to the quiet doctor. I bet you all forgot about him, didn't you?

"You did this na no da?" Chichiri asked.

"No…. I just felt left out…" Mitsukake sniffed. Everyone sweatdropped and turned back to what they were doing. Again, Mitsukake was left out.

"Over here everyone!" Chiriko said helpfully. He was standing over the table were there was a small note.

"What's that Chiriko?" Tasuki asked.

"A note…." Chiriko said, pointing out the obvious. He picked it up and read it out loud. "It says: Dear home owner, our roof senses started to tingle earlier and we thought you could use some help. So we rushed over and fixed your roof right away. There's no need to thank us, we already took it out of your bank account! Sincerely, The repairmen!" Chiriko finished and put the note down.

"THEY WHAT?" Shigure said, instantly sitting up when he heard that they took their money!

"Don't worry Gure-san! I'll make you feel better!" Ayame said as he skipped over to Shigure.

"Aya! I love you!" Shigure claimed. The two were surrounded by roses and Hotohori glared again. Hatori muttered something about not being related to them.

"Well, where are we going to sleep?" Tasuki said. Chiriko yawned and stretched.

"I dunno, we'll have to put you in Yuki and Kyo's room!" Shigure said.

"What about your room?" Kyo said angrily!

"My room too!" Tohru said happily!

"There still won't be enough room." Yuki pointed out.

"Well, there's always the kitchen and the living room!" Shigure said helpfully.

"I'M NOT SLEEPING IN THE KITCHEN!" Tasuki screamed really loudly. Everyone plugged their ears to prevent going deaf.

"Well, you can sleep with your twin." Nakago said in a monotone voice.

"WE'RE NOT TWINS!" Kyo and Tasuki yelled in unison.

"Then it's settled. Kyo and Tasuki are together." Shigure said finally. Both Kyo and Tasuki glared at him but didn't say anything.

"I wanna be with his Majesty!" Nuriko called out!

"And I want nothing to do with him…" Hotohori said glumly as Nuriko glomped him once again.

"Okay, Nuriko and Hotohori can bunk with Yuki." Hatori told them. Nuriko gave a cry of delight and Hotohori moaned.

"Where is Shin going to sleep?" Tomo asked. He was still holding the clam tightly like an over-protective mother.

"You two can have Kyo's room with Tasuki." Shigure told him

"As long as Nakago sleeps with us…" Tomo started to say.

"NEVER!" Nakago yelled. He raised his hands to kill Tomo, but Soi stopped him just in time.

"Nakago is with me." Soi said.

"Soi…. Stop it." Nakago told her and pushed her away.

"We'll split those three up…" Hatori said.

"All the girls can sleep in my room!" Tohru volunteered. The all stared at her.

"Alright, so that's Miaka, Yui, Kisa, Kagura and Soi." Hatori said, counting heads. "That should work."

"What about me! I wanna be with Hotohori!" Nuriko whined.

"Nuriko, you're a man… only REAL women are going to Tohru's room." Hotohori said dully. Nuriko smiled really big and hugged him again. Hotohori cringed.

"I wanna sleep with Yuki!" Momiji said randomly out of nowhere. Everyone stared at the sugar high German kid.

"Why?" Yuki asked. Not that he minded…. Real men don't mind annoying people like him.

"Because." Momiji paused. "Just because…" he said again. They all sweatdropped.

"Okay, Momiji is with me, Hotohori and Nuriko…" Yuki said glumly. He didn't know if he could survive the night now. "I should have room for one more."

"I nominate Suboshi!" Nakago said, pushing Suboshi forward. Suboshi looked shocked.

"But what about Amiboshi?" Suboshi asked, looking hurt again. Amiboshi hung his head.

"There is not enough room for me, brother…" Amiboshi sighed. The twins ran up to each other and wailed.

"BROTHER!" Suboshi cried.

"They'll get over it, besides, Amiboshi likes Suzaku better." Nakago told them. And because he was a general, no one argued.

"I want my room now!" Hiro complained. Tasuki glared at him.

"Where do you want to go, Hiro?" Tohru asked him nicely. Hiro stuck his tongue out at her.

"I wanna sleep with Kyo!"

"WHAT!" Tasuki and Kyo yelled at once.

"Okay." Tohru said. Hiro smiled evilly and went over to stand next to Tasuki and Kyo, still smiling.

"Shin is never going to get any sleep now…" Tomo complained.

"IT'S A DAMN CLAM! IT'S NOT ALIVE!" Kyo yelled. Tomo went to sit in the corner and pouted.

"Kyo, you have a big room. You can fit one more." Shigure told him. Kyo scoffed.

"Tamahome! Get over here!" Tasuki yelled, motioning for Tamahome. Tamahome didn't listen though.

"Miaka"

"Tamahome"

"Miaka"

"Tamahome"

"SHUT UP!" Tasuki yelled. He hated when they did that. And when he looked around, he noticed that everyone else looked a bit queasy too. So he went over and dragged Tamahome away. Neither he nor Miaka noticed because they both had their eyes closed.

"Shigure, Hatori and I are in Gure-san's room!" Ayame called out suddenly. Shigure cheered and hugged Ayame. Hatori hit his head on the wall.

"Akito, where are you going to go?" Ayame asked.

"With….. you…" Akito said mysteriously. Shigure stopped dancing and looked scared. But no one argued with Akito because he claimed to be a God. "And I want… HIM!" Akito said, pointing at Nakago.

"Me…" Nakago said. He shrugged and walked over to Akito. After all, a general can't compete with a God….. they just can't.

"Where is brother going to sleep?" Suboshi asked, finally letting go of Amiboshi.

"He gets the living room!" Akito said from the shadows. Amiboshi shrugged his shoulders and left his brother's side and there was much more sobbing from Suboshi.

"Is he alright?" Kyo asked. No one answered because no one knew if he was.

"I want the living room too!" Miboshi said out of nowhere. "If you don't let me, I'll possess you all and kill you with my prayer wheel."

They let Miboshi sleep in the living room. The only one against this was Amiboshi because he was also sleeping there. And Miboshi creeped him out a bit. (Who doesn't he creep out?)

"Who else wants the living room?" Hatori asked.

"I DO!" Mitsukake said out of nowhere. Everyone looked at him strangely and gave him the living room. Amiboshi cringed again. Mitsukake scared him too… no one knows why though…

"I say Ritsu sleeps in the living room too…" Akito commanded.

"I'M SO SORRY!" Ritsu screamed, even though he didn't do anything. Again, Amiboshi whimpered. He didn't know Ritsu, but he had a feeling he wouldn't like him much. He also had a feeling he wouldn't get much sleep tonight.

"Okay, who's left" Shigure asked the group. Haru, Chichiri, Chiriko, and Ashitare raised their hands.

"Okay, you four can have the kitchen!"

"We have to sleep with Ashitare no da!" Chichiri asked in a panicked voice.

"What if he eats us for a midnight snack?" Chiriko piped up.

"What if he goes black…" Haru pondered to himself.

"That's only you that does that…" Kyo told him. Haru nodded his head slowly.

"Where is Ashitare anyway no da?" Chichiri asked, looking around the room. Sure enough, the big hairy wolf/person thing was nowhere in sight. Finally, Miboshi went to look out the window.

"He's still outside." He commented. "Want me to bring him in?"

"No, he can stay outside!" Chiriko said. He didn't want to be eaten at such a young age. He was only 13! Even if he looked like an 8 year old.

"Well, that solved that problem no da. Chiriko, Haru and I will take the kitchen no da."

"Was anyone left out?" Hatori asked the group. No one raised their hands and Hatori clapped his hands together like a loony. "Good!"

Then everybody went off to their designated rooms.

In Yuki's room there was: Yuki, Nuriko, Hotohori, Suboshi, and Momiji

In Kyo's room was: Kyo, Tamahome, Tasuki, Hiro and Tomo

In Tohru's room was: Tohru, Kisa, Yui, Miaka, Kagura and Soi

In Shigure's room was: Shigure, Ayame, Hatori, Nakago and Akito

In the Kitchen was: Chichiri, Haru and Chiriko

In the Living Room was: Miboshi, Amiboshi, Mitsukake, and Ritsu

Outside was Ashitare because everyone was so scared of him….

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much Monica for reveiwing our story! It means alot to us no da:D

PLEASE R&R! (No da)


	3. In Which Half The People Leave

Hey guys… um… you see… we kinda had this "problem"… we can't find the original chapter 3… so we had to completely write the whole thing over in a matter of hours. This is a re-written version of chapter 3… actually that's only partially true… this is that chapter 3 we've re-written that I remember (the original chapter 3 was better) But we appreciate all the reviews! And now since we lost chapter 3… chapter 4 is missing also (it was on the same disc) … sorry people!

Bubbles: you can blame goldfish for loosing it!

Goldfish: what! It's your story too! Who said it was my fault?

Bubbles & Goldfish: … Enjoy the re-written chapter 3! 

**Chapter 3:** In Which Half The People Leave And Become Arch Enemies

"Can I sleep with you Yuki?" Momiji jumped up and down excitedly.

"I guess…," Yuki said with a little regret. Maybe this was a bad idea Yuki!

"Where do I get to sleep?" Hotohori said looking around the room with disgust.

"In this sleeping bag…" Yuki said pulling out a dirty, moth-bally, smelly, (you get the point) sleeping bag.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Hotohori said. "Why can't I have the bed?"

"No… the bed is mine. If you want to stay with me in my room then you have to sleep where ever I say!" Yuki said feeling a little powerful.

"I'll be right next to you _all night_!" Nuriko said joyfully.

"On second thought… I'll take the sleeping bag." Hotohori said. YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS TOMORROW HOTOHORI! YOUR POOR POOR BACK!

"Then I'll put my sleeping bag right next to yours my love! I'll be able to protect you _all night_!" Nuriko said with a big smile on his face.

"BROTHER!" Suboshi said while assuming the fetal position in the corner.

"Will you get over it Suboshi? Your brother is right downstairs!" (_Is_ Yuki's room upstairs? I'm just guessing!)

"But that's like a mile away! Who knows when I'll see him again?" Suboshi wailed.

"You'll see him tomorrow!" Momiji said happily.

"That seems like FOREVER!" Suboshi complained.

"If you go to SLEEP then you'll see him sooner than you think!" Yuki explained.

"But Yuki… I'm not tired!" Momiji said. "Let's jump and down on your bed!" Momiji suggested.

"No…no! Bad idea!" Yuki yelled. Man that Momiji could get on your nerves!

"Yes lets! I bet you that I can jump higher than you!" Nuriko challenged.

"You're on!" Momiji said.

And so our infamous jumping contest started. Let's take bets on who we'll think will win! I bet you're thinking that Momiji will win because he has so much energy. Well let's compare the odds: Nuriko: Rather perky, he _is _a cross dresser! Momiji: do I really need to explain this? I mean c'mon… he's MOMIJI!

Momiji: what's a cross dresser?

Me: um… ask Yuki

Momiji: Yuki…what's a cross dresser?

Yuki: Why did you drag me into this?

Me: because you're Yuki Sohma!

Momiji: Well I'm MOMIJI SOHMA!

Me: um… let's just have Yuki answer your question!

Yuki: um… how can I explain this? You know how you always wear the girl's uniform?

Me: Yuki… (Seeing where this is going)

Momiji: yeah?

Yuki: that's kinda cross-dresser-ish

(Back to story)

"You're going to have to jump higher than that if you want to beat me!" Nuriko said jumping as high as the ceiling.

"I'm jumping as high as I can!" Momiji complained.

"JUMP HIGHER MOMIJI! BEAT NURIKO!" Hotohori cheered.

"Hey! What about a cheer for me?" Nuriko said glumly.

"Go Nuriko…" Hotohori added.

"Um… guys… could you please stop jumping on my bed? Someone is going to get hurt!" Yuki said.

"BROTHER!" Suboshi wailed. _Way to go Suboshi… way to help out the situation!_

Just then Nuriko fell off of the bed. "HA! YOU LOOSE NURIKO!" I bet you're wondering who said that… try to guess… it wasn't Yuki or Suboshi. (Suboshi was too busy complaining to even notice that Nuriko had fallen off of the bed. Honestly… when you hear a _thud_ from something around you you'd think someone would take notice…)

"Hotohori… why do you have to be so mean to me?" Nuriko complained through his tears. These weren't just any womanly tears… they were MANLY tears! Doesn't that suit Nuriko's personality so well?

"Can you play a song for me on your flute Amiboshi?" Ritsu asked.

"Sure…" Amiboshi started to play his flute for the third time that night.

"Listen… if you don't stop playing that flute right this second I'll shove it up your…" Miboshi started but was cut off.

"I'M SORRY! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER ASKED YOU TO PLAY A SONG FOR ME! I'M NOT WORTH A SONG AND IF I WERE NEVER EVEN BORN THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN YOU IN TROUBLE WITH…" Ritsu wailed.

Just then Amiboshi's arm started to hurt. He put his flute down and looked at his arm. "It's from Suboshi!"

_BROTHER! I SO DEARLY MISS YOU! THIS PLACE SUCKS!_

Amiboshi decided to write back to him:

_THIS PLACE ISN'T SO BAD… MIBOSHI IS STARTING TO_ –

"Are you writing about me?" Miboshi questioned. "NO!" Amiboshi answered quickly. Maybe a little too quickly for Miboshi's liking… "Let me see!" Miboshi screamed. Miboshi grabbed hold of Amiboshi's arm Suboshi had already written back, _I KNOW! MIBOSHI IS A FREAKISH THUG!_ "So that's how it's going to be huh? Well let's see what Suboshi has to say about this!" Miboshi added with a freakish-thuggy laugh. .:. "What is wrong with your arm Suboshi?" Yuki questioned. 

"Oh! It looks like we're going to have some fun tonight!" Nuriko said with glee.

"What are you talking about?" Yuki said with a questioning look.

Yuki and the others looked at the conversation that has already started on Suboshi's arm.

_BROTHER! I SO DEARLY MISS YOU! THIS PLACE SUCKS!_

_THIS PLACE ISN'T SO BAD… MIBOSHI IS STARTING TO_ –

_I KNOW! MIBOSHI IS A FREAKISH THUG!_

"Miboshi is the creepy dude with 3 eyes right?" Yuki questioned.

"Yes…" Nuriko answered… he was reading the reply he had gotten from the other room.

_I LOVE MIBOSHI! HE IS THE BEST THING THAT COULD'VE EVER HAPPENED TO ME!_

Nuriko busted out with laughter.

_C'MON MIBOSHI… DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT WE'D THINK THAT AMIBOSHI WROTE THAT?_

The 4 people waited around patiently for a reply. Well actually… 3 people waited around for a reply while one person waited in **_pain_**.

"This is quite fun!" Yuki said.

"Hush! He's writing back!" Hotohori said.

_AT LEAST I'M NOT A CROSS-DRESSER LIKE NURIKO RIGHT SUBOSHI? MAN… IT'S A GOOD THING NURIKO ISN'T READING THIS RIGHT NOW HUH SUBOSHI?_

"Oh no he didn't!" Nuriko said with sudden ghettoness. Nuriko flipped Suboshi over on his back so he could write another message.

"Wait Nuriko… maybe he was only kidding! Did you really think that he meant that?" Hotohori said.

I just realized that I haven't had Momiji say anything recently… SORRY MOMIJI! We'll just pretend he went to the bathroom!

"Well if he didn't mean it then he shouldn't have said it! Now he should apologize!" Nuriko complained.

_NURIKO IS AMAZING! TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW! AT LEAST I DON'T NEED A THIRD EYE TO SEE PROPERLY!_

Nuriko looked lovingly at the message he had just wrote back to the other room. So what if he couldn't make Miboshi apologize… he had to just simply insult him back. This is Nuriko's philosophy:

If you are his friend I'll give you the shirt off of my back. But if you are my enemy and you tick me off… I'll tick you off right back but 10 times worse.

Miboshi tried to look at his third eye.

"Is it really horrifying?" Miboshi said pitifully.

Amiboshi looked up at him. "Yes… it really is." He managed to say between gasps for air. All of this message sending has really worn the poor guy out!

"Is that so? Well I'll just have to-" Miboshi started.

"I'M SO SORRY! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THAT HIDEOUS THIRD EYE! IF YOU HADN'T HAVE MET ME THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE A NORMAL FACE!" Ritsu wailed.

"No Ritsu… Miboshi was always like that." Mitsukake explained.

Everyone looked around the room.

"Who said that?" Ritsu questioned.

"Over here! Jeez… what will it take for someone finally to notice me!" Mitsukake complained.

"I'M SORRY MITSUKAKE! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I FORGOT THAT YOU WERE HERE! I DON'T DESERVE TO BE WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU… I DON'T DESERVE-" Ritsu started. Actually, he eventually finished what he had to say but after a while everyone just tuned him out. I wasn't going to bore you with whatever Ritsu had to say so I'll just continue on with the story. Mitsukake seemed pretty loved after Ritsu's apologizing though…

Miboshi looked at the message he had received from the other room. He hadn't replied to it yet, because he couldn't think of a good enough comeback. During his thinking process he got another message.

_WHAT? CAN'T YOU THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME? OR ARE YOU TOO SCARED? YOU ARE SO PATHETIC. _

Mitsukake feeling left out again walked over to where Amiboshi was huddled in a corner looking like a loser. "Can I talk to Hotohori now?" Mitsukake asked nicely.

"But… but… I haven't thought of a comeback yet! Nuriko has insulted me!" Miboshi said.

"Too bad. You've already had enough lines in this story… I want some too!" Mitsukake complained.

Miboshi backed off and went over to the other side of the room to try to see his hideous third eye.

_HOTOHORI… ARE YOU THERE?_

_DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT! HOTOHORI IS BUSY AT THE MOMENT… WELL NOT REALLY… IS THIS STILL MIBOSHI?_

_NO… THIS IS MITSUKAKE…_

_WHO?_

_MITSUKAKE!_

_I DON'T THINK I KNOW A MITSU- OH! YOU MEAN _MITSUKAKE! _OH HEY! _

_"_I swear… someday I _will _be noticed! And when I am… I will laugh at you all! KAKAKAKAKAKAKA!" Mitsukake bellowed. No I'm just kidding… Mitsukake didn't KAKAKAKA… Tomo did! His laugh is so loud… everyone heard it.

"Umm… Mitsukake… you're thinking out loud." Amiboshi said fearfully.

"What? Oh… I was… I really need to learn about how often I think out loud." Mitsukake said a little embarrassed now.

"Uh… Hotohori Mitsukake wants to talk to you…" Nuriko said.

"Mitsukake? Who is Mitsukake?" Hotohori asked.

"You know… that guy who heals people…" Nuriko explained.

"No… I still don't know who you are talking about." Hotohori said, thinking really hard about this. C'mon Hotohori! You can do this!

"The guy that nobody notices but unfortunately is in the Suzaku seven?" Nuriko said lamely.

"Oh that guy? The one no one worth anything notices?" Hotohori said slowly.

_UM… THIS IS KINDA URGENT. I MUST SPEAK TO HOTOHORI NOW!_

Suboshi whimpered….

"Who's Hotohori?" Yuki asked dumbly. Hotohori glared at the rat.

"Only the best person EVER!" Nuriko said happily.

"Okay… but that doesn't help me in knowing who this _dude_ is…" Yuki said.

"The emperor is no _DUDE!_ You should be ashamed of yourself! Hotohori… ATTACK!" Nuriko commanded. But do you really think his majesty would listen to poor-lowly-cross dresser boy? YOU BET!

Hotohori drew his sword and killed Yuki… no I kid … I kid… Hotohori wouldn't do that. (HE BETTER NOT! YUKI IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER!)

"I am Hotohori! The most beautiful man on earth!" Hotohori said, pulling out a random hand mirror.

"OH! You're Hotohori! The dude who didn't want the sleeping bag… the one who was too _good_ for a sleeping bag! And besides… I thought _he_ was Hotohori." Yuki said while pointing to Nuriko.

"WHAT! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU THOUGHT THAT THAT _THING_ WAS ME? I AM ASHAMED!" Hotohori said pulling out a sword. I kid… I kid… Hotohori didn't pull out his sword. Although I bet he _wanted_ to… just wait Hotohori… you'll have your chance… just wait a few more chapters. (Foreshadowing)

"I am honored to be compared to someone as beautiful and special and-"

"Uh… Nuriko?"

"And majestic and wonderful-"

"You can stop now…."

"And amazing and-"

"Nuriko… stop now." Yuki cut in. Nuriko stopped instantly…. No one knows why. But Yuki felt like the president.

Hotohori listened to nothing and a bird crashed into the window. "Actually Nuriko… please continue."

"And stupendous and-"

"SHUT UP!" Yuki said. And he threw his pillow at Nuriko. Nuriko was shocked and appalled. Then he sniffed the pillow.

"What is that smell?" He asked. Yuki sweatdropped.

"It smells like…. Burnt soup and leeks." Hotohori said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Don't you agree Suboshi?"

"…" Suboshi was in too much pain to answer back.

"THIS IS GROSS!" Nuriko said, holding the pillow at arm's length in front of him and holding his nose.

"Um…" Yuki said, trying to think of an excuse. "My… uh…. Pet?" Yuki said, thinking of Tohru and his imaginary pet from earlier.

"You have a pet?" Nuriko exclaimed happily.

"Uh….. sorta…."

"What do you mean sorta? You only have half a pet?" Hotohori asked slowly, thinking of half a Shin hiding under Yuki's bed…. waiting to attack them all….

_YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME AGAIN…. DIDN'T YOU?_

"Who are you?" Hotohori asked dumbly.

"I HEARD THAT!" Mitsukake yelled from downstairs.

_IS IT THAT IMPORTANT THAT I TALK TO YOU MITSUKAKE?_

_YES! VERY IMPORTANT!_

Hotohori rolled his eyes.

"Don't… don't your majesty! It's a trap!" Nuriko wailed.

_That's right Nuriko… now let us all take a second and picture Mitsukake turning inexplicably evil. Okay… I don't know about you… but this is boring. (Not the story… Mitsukake)_

"Just talk to the poor guy!" Yuki complained.

"Mitsukake… a _poor guy?_ That's funny…. He may be unexplainably boring but he's not poor…" Hotohori said.

_ARE YOU GUYS STILL THERE? YOU FORGOT AGAIN DIDN'T YOU?_

Hotohori finally decided to write back to _poor _Mitsukake!

_WHAT IS IT MITSUKAKE? WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT?_

_DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?_

_YES…_

_ARE YOU SURE?_

_YES!…_

_POSITIVE?_

_MITSUKAKE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?_

_WHAT'S SHAKIN'? _

_…WHAT?…_

_WHATCHA UP TO?_

_GO HOME…_

_NOBODY LIKES…_

"THAT'S IT! GET OFF OF ME!" Amiboshi yelled. He looked up to see 3 people hovering over him… _like vultures. _

"There isn't any more room to write anymore…" Mitsukake started.

"Yes! My aching body has had ENOUGH! If you really want to talk to Hotohori… GO OVER TO HIM AND TALK TO HIM!" Amiboshi yelled, and with that Amiboshi stomped over to the couch and went to sleep.

"NOBODY LIKES WHAT? HE COULD AT LEAST FINISH HIS SENTENCE!" Hotohori said. This unfinished thought was obviously going to bug him _ALL NIGHT!_ (Foreshadowing)

"Oh who cares… it's only Mitsukake." Nuriko said playfully throwing a pillow at Hotohori. The pillow missed Hotohori by like A MILE and landed on the moth-bally sleeping bag. Dust and mothballs flew EVERYWHERE making Hotohori sneeze 10 times.

"SOMEONE SHALL DIE FOR THAT!" Hotohori said bringing out his sword. He stabbed the cross dresser….. I kid… again… isn't this fun?

"Wait, don't be violent, it's not the answer!"

"Can we go to sleep?" Yuki said sleepily. (HAHA you get it? Sleep: sleepily… nevermind… y'all are so hard to joke with)

"I guess… I could never possibly get enough beauty sleep staying up so late!" Hotohori said thinking of how much more beautiful he would be in the morning.

"But first I have to…" Hotohori said as he threw a pillow at Nuriko's head. Nuriko giggled like a girl (go figure) and threw it back at Hotohori. Again this throw misses Hotohori by like A MILE and this time it hit the wall. When a normal person throws a pillow at the wall… it bounces off. (You just tried it didn't you?) But when _Nuriko_ does it…

"MY HOUSE!" Shigure wailed.

"You're right…" Nuriko started, "It's time for bed! Goodnight everyone!"

Nuriko ran over to the light, turned it off and got into bed, leaving Yuki staring at the gaping hole in Shigure's wall.

"What was that?" Amiboshi asked.

"Maybe we should just leave it until tomorrow…" Miboshi replied.

"He never answered me…," Mitsukake said to himself.

"Just get over it!" Amiboshi said.

"I'M SO SORRY!" Ritsu wailed.

"For what now?" Mitsukake asked.

"I…I… I really don't know… I'm just do used to saying sorry for everything I thought this might be an appropriate time to apologize." Ritsu explained.

"Is it me or is this whole thing making me feel more stupid by the second?" Miboshi asked. Amiboshi shrugged his shoulders, turned off the lights, and everyone went to sleep.

(MEANWHILE IN KYO'S ROOM!)

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" Kyo shouted for all of Japan to hear.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?" Tasuki replied, just as loud.

"Can you two cool it?" Tamahome said, a little fed up.

"Can you shut up? Shin is trying to sleep! KAKAKA!" Tomo bellowed.

"You sound like a crow!" Hiro said.

"WHAT? You see? This is why my best friend is a clam… he doesn't insult me!" Tomo mumbled to himself.

"What was that bird boy?" Hiro asked.

"Nothing… but Shin is trying to sleep." Tomo said.

"Well I'll be quiet…" Tasuki lied, reaching for his tessen.

"Yeah… okay." Tamahome said sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tasuki said pulling out his tessen.

"Wh-What are you planning on doing with that?" Tamahome said as he hid behind Hiro.

"Hey! Get away from me!" Hiro said as he shoved Tamahome out from behind him. Who was he anyway, Hiro was supposed to be the kid!

"Tasuki…. Now let's think about this! Let's not act on impulse or anything!" Tamahome said trying to get out of reach of Tasuki and his fan.

"REKKA SHINEN!" Tasuki yelled and sent flames soaring at Tamahome.

"Knock it off jerk!" Tamahome said as he was burned to a crisp.

"You're going to burn down my room!" Kyo yelled, already fed up with his 'twin.'

Kyo: Why must you keep saying that I am that pyromaniac's twin! I AM NOT HIS TWIN!

Tasuki: Yeah! I look better with orange hair than he does anyway!

Kyo: what the hell is that supposed to mean!

Tasuki: what do you think it means?

Me: KNOCK IT OFF! YOU"RE RUINING THE STORY! runs off crying

Tasuki: now look at what you have done!

Kyo: ME? IT WAS YOU!

Me: sobs

Anyway… back to the story…

Hiro rolled his eyes at the constant bickering that lingered in this room.

"Poor Shin." Tomo said stroking his clam.

"SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR DAMN CLAM!" Tasuki and Kyo yelled at the same time.

"Why must you keep being mean to be and my clam?" Tomo asked.

"This is pathetic." Hiro said.

"I can't believe that I got stuck in this room with you blockheads." Kyo said.

"You can just leave if you want, no one is stopping you." Hiro commented. Wait… wasn't Hiro supposed to be on his side?

"Fine I will!" Kyo got up and walked over to the door, "Wait a second… this is _my_ room! Y'all should get out!" Kyo said.

But when Kyo opened the door there was another person standing on the other side, ready to pound the door in.

"Who are you again?" Kyo asked.

"NAKAGO! Please tell me that you came up here to rescue me and Shin from this insanity!" Tomo pleaded.

"Not…another…word." Nakago threatened, raising his hand and preparing to fire off a life-force blast.

"Ah… chill out would ya? We were just messing around." Tasuki said.

"Well… if I hear another word from any of you… it'll be the last thing you do." (dun dun DUN!)

"Anything for you, Nakago!" Tomo said, bowing at his feet. Tasuki took the opportunity to go and snatch Shin from the lacy pillow Tomo was keeping him on.

Kyo slammed the door in Nakago's face and returned to his sleeping bag. Tomo looked over at where Shin sat no more than 5 minutes ago, "Shin… SHIN! OH MY PRECIOUS SHIN! WHERE WOULD YOU HAVE GONE! I SWEAR I WILL AVENGE YOU!"

"Hey… if you take some of your face make-up off, then I'll tell you where Shin is." Tasuki offered.

"Never! I can't do that-" Tomo said.

"Well I can tell you where he is anyway… if you want."

"PLEASE! JUST LET SHIN BE OKAY!" Tomo begged.

"He is somewhere outside." Tasuki threw Shin out of the open window.

Bubbles hits slow motion button

"SSSSSSSHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (In regular speed… this is what Tomo would've normally said "Shin! No!") Tomo's voice gets deeper as he continues to continue to accentuate the 'O'. Tomo ran slowly for the open window (don't forget… we are still in slow motion people!) and he jumped out of it, in search for his missing clam.

Goldfish stops slow motion

"Now that's one problem solved!" Tamahome chuckled as he turned over to try to get to sleep. Hiro, Kyo, and Tasuki stood motionless at the window.

"Dude… he jumped." Kyo commented.

"I didn't think he'd actually go after it." Hiro added.

"Well… he _did _name it… what did you expect?" Tasuki said moving away from the window. He turned off the lights and went to sleep on the first sleeping bag he saw.

"Um… Tasuki?" someone's voice called out.

"Yeah?"

"You're cutting off my circulation." Tamahome said because Tasuki had lain down on top of Tamahome is his attempt to find his own sleeping bag.

"Sorry Tama… I didn't see you there!"

"SHUT UP!" Kyo yelled.

"One more WORD!" came the voice of Nakago from Shigure's room. Everyone turned over and went to sleep as fast as they could.

(Tohru's room!)

"Can you pass the nachos?" Miaka asked, rubbing her empty stomach. Tohru and the rest of the girls sweatdropped.

"Didn't we just eat a little while ago?" Kagura asked.

"Don't even get started on her food fetish. Just pass her the nachos before she goes lethal on you." Yui explained. Tohru passed her the nachos, with a smile on her face. Kisa let a yawn escape her mouth as she cuddled up next to Tohru.

"Maybe we should get some sleep." Kagura suggested.

"But it's not even 11:00 yet!" Miaka complained, with a mouth-full of nachos.

"But Kisa is tired, and we might keep her up!"

"Whatever… Miaka I think I liked our sleepovers better, we actually got to stay up and do whatever we wanted!" Yui said only loud enough for Miaka to hear. Soi was already passed out on Tohru's bed. She insisted that she got to sleep on it because she needed her beauty sleep for when she saw Nakago the next morning. (But seriously… who would get all dressed up just to see Nakago? C'mon now people!)

Tohru turned off the lights and whispered a soft goodnight to everyone in the room.

(In the Kitchen)

"Why do we have to sleep in the kitchen?" Haru asked to no one in particular.

"Because all the other rooms were taken up." Chiriko answered.

"They didn't even give us blankets either!" Haru complained.

"We can use my kesa, no da."

"Can that fit all of us?" Haru asked as Chichiri slid his kesa off to use as a blanket.

"Probably not… but you can use some dish towels if there isn't enough room for you!" Chiriko said.

"Dish towels? _Dish towels?_ I'll show you dish towels!" Chichiri sensed that his aura had changed.

"Chiriko! Watch out no da!" Chichiri said as he shielded the 13-year-old super genius. THE ULTIMATE POWER OF BLACK HARU HAS BEEN RELEASED!

"FEAR ME!" Black Haru yelled. He went after the poor monk and his sidekick. Arms were flailing everywhere, dishes crashing, walls having holes put into them. Shigure's house senses were tingling

"What is wrong with you?" Chiriko asked as he was being taken away from the insane person that was now taking over the kitchen. Haru watched as the two scared seishi scampered out of Shigure's kitchen. Haru chuckled to himself, "Suckers." Haru picked up the forgotten kesa and wrapped it around himself and quickly fell asleep.

Chichiri ran into the nearest free room and closed the door behind him.

"That was close no da." Chichiri commented as he turned on the light.

"Chichiri?" Chiriko asked.

"What is it no da?"

"I FEEL SICK!"

"WHAT?"

"I don't feel so good."

"Um…" Chichiri's gaze fell upon a strange looking seat with an opening in the middle. Inside the seat contained a small amount of water. _What the heck is this no da?_

"CHICHIRI!" Chiriko said, hunching over.

"Hold on… I'll think of something! I know! I'll get Mitsukake! Wait… what is that smell?" Chichiri asked as he held his breath. Chiriko blushed, "Sorry Chichiri." (In case y'all didn't get that… Chiriko 'passed gas')

"I feel a lot better!" Chiriko said happily as he disregarded that foul smell that now encased them both.

"That's always good." Chichiri said. Chiriko curled up inside the bathtub and fell asleep.

"Great… that jerk from the kitchen has my kesa!" Chichiri, knowing better than to disturb the horrible monster in the kitchen fell asleep on the cold bathroom floor.

(In Shigure's room)

"Ah.. isn't this just fantastic Ha'ri? The three of us, together again!" Shigure said merrily (as he always does) as he wrapped his arms around Ayame and Hatori.

"Of course it is!" Ayame agreed. Hatori just sat there, waiting for this night to be over.

"Do you always have to put up with these idiots?" Nakago asked Akito.

"Yes, unfortunately." Akito mused as his bird flew over to him and perched on his finger.

"Get that bird away from me!" Nakago screamed like a little girl.

"Is my bird frightening you?" Akito asked, happy to have found another soul to torture.

"No! Why would a stupid little canary scare me?" Akito moved the bird closer to Nakago's face.

"GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Nakago screeched. The Mabudachi trio sweatdropped. They had never known for someone to be more afraid of Akito's bird than Akito himself. But guess what guys… there is a first time for everything I suppose!

"I see." Akito said putting the bird back into his cage.

"Let's play a game!" Ayame suggested.

"That's a great idea Aya! What do you suggest?" Shigure asked.

"There will be no game playing while I am awake, is that understood?" Nakago stated.

"For why?" Shigure asked. (Tee-hee.. For why… does that make sense to anyone?)

"Because I don't think that I can handle being in this room with you three if you don't keep quiet!" Nakago said.

"Three? How do you get three? You cannot be counting me in that count, could you?" Hatori asked.

"Of course he is Ha'ri! We wouldn't be the Mabudachi trio without you!" Shigure sang.

"ENOUGH!" Akito and Nakago said at the same time.

"You know what? You're not half bad!" Akito said, a sly smile sweeping across his face.

"You don't say?" Nakago replied.

"I could get used to you." Akito said.

"But what about those three?" Nakago said, gesturing towards Shigure, Ayame, and Hatori.

"They mustn't know anything…" Akito said.

"You three… go to sleep. Immediately!" Nakago commanded.

"But we're not tired." Ayame whined.

"Yes you are." Akito said.

"Please let us stay up!" Shigure whined also. Man… these men are acting like little girls at a slumber party… wait.. did I just call Shigure and Ayame MEN? Wow… I need to broaden my vocabulary a little bit.

"GO TO SLEEP!" Nakago commanded raising his hand.

"What is that for again?" Shigure asked. Nakago fired a life-force blast straight at Shigure, and (having slow reflexes) got a direct hit.

"Oh yeah… that's what that did." Hatori let out a chuckle.

"Now… go to sleep." Nakago instructed. Hatori rolled over emotionlessly to get some sleep. How could he be friends with such idiots? Shigure finally laid down and tried to go to sleep quickly. Ayame reluctantly followed.

"You were saying?" Nakago said to Akito.

"I think you can be of great use to me." Akito said.

"We need to think of a plan…" Nakago was cut off.

"Excuse me… but may I please have a glass of-" Shigure said meekly and he sat up.

"NO!" Akito and Nakago said at the same time.

"Yeah… I didn't think so." Shigure laid back down and went to sleep next to his two best friends.

"These people are going to cause us some serious trouble." Nakago commented.

"Nevermind them… they will soon be begging us for mercy at out feet. Just give it time. I have already come up with a plan that will destroy all the Sohmas." Akito said pulling out a random blue print from his random pocket in the kimono he was wearing.

"What is that?" Nakago asked.

"My diabolical plan of course." Akito said, feeling proud of himself for using such a big word. WAY TO GO AKITO! WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS!

"Well.. open it up!" Akito unrolled the piece of paper. Nakago was excited until he saw what Akito's plan consisted.

"_This_ is your plan?" Nakago asked.

"Uh-huh! Isn't it brilliant?" Akito beamed.

"Uh…" Nakago stared at the scheme that Akito had come up with. On the page was a bunch of stick people running in all different directions. 13 of the 15 people were dressed up in animal costumes. The largest stick person held an enormous hammer and looked as if he were about to crush them all. Then there was one stick person, all alone on the other side of the page who was crying.

"What do you think?" Akito asked.

"It's… ah…" Nakago was searching for words.

"The one with the hammer is me!" Akito said happily as he pointed to the biggest stick person on the page.

"I see… but why is everyone dressed up as… _animals?_"

"Nevermind that… so are you in or are you out?" Akito asked.

"I think," Nakago said before he ripped up the plans, which brought a tear to Aktio's eyes, "that we can do A LOT better." Akito's frown turned into a smile.

"Really?"

"Of course… just let me handle this."

"Okay."

"I have just one more thing to ask of you."

"Anything."

"Keep that bird away from me… is that understood?"

"Fine." Akito smirked.

"Now… on to business."

"Do I still get to use a hammer?" Akito asked. Nakago shook his head and started to tell Akito their "New Diabolical Plan". Man… was this going to be good.

A/N: well there it is! Re-written chapter 3! I hope it's good… we wrote this under 2 hours… so I hope it's okay! Please R&R! We love you all!

Goldfish078 and Bubbles078 xoxox


	4. In which, school happens

Finally! Chapter four is done! dances We hope it's worth waiting for! And this chapter was done completely from scratch… unlike last time…

Bubbles: must we put the stupid disclaimer? Everyone knows that we don't own Fruits Basket or Fushigi Yuugi…

Goldfish: yes… so here is the stupid disclaimer: We don't own Fruits Basket or Fushigi Yuugi…

Bubbles: that is going to get old one of these days…

**Chapter 4: In Which... School Happens... (1st period anyway...)**

Nakago woke up in the middle of the night to find Akito weeping openly over his not-so-brilliant plan to destroy his family.

"What is wrong with you, man?" Nakago asked Akito as he looked over to Akito.

"I thought this was an AMAZING plan until you decided to trample it... TRAMPLE!" Akito rolled up his 'brilliant' plan and stuffed it back into his kimono. Nakago slapped Akito upside his head, which sent Akito across the room.

"Oh, right... I'm sorry about that." Nakago said, not really meaning it, "We need to get out of here." Nakago looked over to Shigure and Ayame who were huddled together, leaving Hatori left alone... POOR HATORI! WE'LL COMFORT YOU!

"Don't leave me!" Shigure wailed in his sleep, flailing his arms around like a mad man.

"I will never leave you!" Ayame called out having a completely different dream.

Shigure's dream

Once upon a time there was a cute little Japanese-style cottage, nestled deep within the woods. Surrounded by pretty flowers and cute little animals. But the only problem with that was... POOR GURE-SAN IS ALLERGIC TO ANIMALS! ...which kind of puts a damper on the whole family get together thing... (...but back to the dream) One fateful day Shigure woke up to find all of the animals attacking his humble abode!

"MY HOUSE! WHY ANIMALS? WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!" A random moose walks up to Shigure, causing him to sneeze of course, and said, "We never liked you anyway. Oh and by the way... THERE AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH!"

"Does that mean that the valley is too low?"

"No... but there is a wide river..."

"But... the song is completely wrong then! They should not be singing about this stuff if the river is too wide..." (A/N: umm.. Yeah... we're listening to 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' right now... And it just seemed to fit this random dream)

"Why am I even talking to you? I'm allergic to you! Achoo EXTREMELY ALLERGIC!" Shigure said, finally coming to his senses.

"Do you like that sofa over there?" The moose motioned over to Shigure's sofa. (Does Shigure even have a sofa? When you send in your reviews.. .LET US KNOW! WE NEED TO KNOW! IT'S DRIVING US CRAZY!)

"Why... yes... It's my favorite... it was handed down through my family through generations!" Shigure said, beaming.

"Oh..." the moose walked over to his highly valued sofa and began to pee.

"AHH! MY SOFA!" Shigure said, positioning himself in front of the stream of pee. Tee-hee.. Shigure is getting peed on my by a moose! lol Now that's funny...

"Ah.. I've completely destroyed your sofa... and your clothes!" the moose said, while walking away. He didn't forget to kick Shigure's manuscript for Mii, who was coming over that next day to pick it up. A group of random girls walked randomly out of the forest and started to walk over to Gure-san's house.

"Hey ladies!" Shigure said as he tried to look suave.

"Ew... what is that awful smell?" The first girl asked.

"Is that... MOOSE PEE?" the second girl asked.

"HOW DO YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?" Shigure wailed.

"Let's go." The last girl said, starting to walk away.

This isn't a dream... this is a NIGHTMARE!

"Don't leave me!" Shigure wailed... which brings us back to reality... where Shigure is NOT covered in Moose pee.

"Whutta freak." Nakago commented, "What about that one over there?" Nakago added, pointing to Aya.

Aya's dream

Aya was looking at his half-robotic brother, Yuki. (Now don't be afraid people... this dream takes place about 20,000 years into the future... random number)

"So Yuki... isn't this great? We are spending so much time together!" Aya said.

"YES...IT...IS...GREAT." Yuki replied in his robotic voice...which Aya probably programmed him to say anyway.

"I knew you loved me all along dear brother." Aya beamed.

"YES...YOU...ARE...RIGHT... I ... HAVE... ALWAYS...LOVED...YOU...I...LOVE...HAVING...AN...AMAZING...OLDER...BROTHER...LIKE...YOU." (That was a pain to type)

"Yuki? Is that true?"

"OF...COURSE..." Yuki said, before slipping off the random cliff that decided to appear out of no where... but since I decided to put it there... it can't be too random...

"YUKI! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU!"

Nakago shuddered at the snake's random outburst. "I can't stand to be with them for one more second."

"Gather up my newly found minions and let's get out of here…" Akito, said to Nakago.

"Your _minions?_" Nakago couldn't help but chuckle at this scrawny man's remark. Since when did Nakago and the other Seiryu seishi become Akito's _minions?_

"Yes… you all will serve me and… hey!" Akito said as Nakago's hand came down on his head… _hard._

"What was that for?" Akito said, rubbing his head.

"Never… talk to me and _my_ minions like that… they are MY MINIONS!" Nakago said, sounding offended.

"Why can't I have minions?" Akito whined.

"Because… no one seems to like you… besides your scary little bird…" Nakago shuddered.

"Fine… they are your minions… only on one condition." Akito said leaning forward a little towards Nakago.

"Talk to me." Nakago said, leaning in too.

"You'll consider letting me use that big hammer to destroy all of the Sohma's!" Akito said letting an evil laugh escape from his mouth.

"No."

"What?"

"No hammer."

"WHY NOT!"

"Because it's totally lame. Now help me wake up _my_ (He put emphasis on the word my) minions." Nakago got up and walked out of the room to wake up his fellow Seiryu seishi.

"Fine… but when your plan fails… I'll be waiting with my DIABOLICAL PLAN! I WILL NOT LET MY HAMMER BE FORGOTTEN!" Akito roared before he got up calmly and followed Nakago out of the room.

The next morning

"What are we going to do about them when the kids go to school?" Hatori asked Shigure while drinking his scalding hot coffee. Seriously… how anyone can drink that stuff is crazy… but then again… this is the doctor that likes to smoke. Now what kind of doctor is he? Isn't he supposed to be promoting the whole 'healthy body' thing? ARGH! Anyway… back to the story…

"They just have to go to school with them." Shigure responded.

"No way in hell am I going to spend the day with that… _fang-boy_ who stole my look!" Kyo complained as he overheard their conversation, "Why can't they just stay here with you?"

"Oh… because, dear Kyo, I have this manuscript due today and Mii is coming over to pick it up."

"So?"

"Well… I have to completely re-due it on the account of some moose kicked it and completely messed it up." Hatori spat back the coffee that was in his mouth.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kyo asked.

"A Moose?" Hatori added.

"He PEED on my sofa!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Kyo snapped, obviously sick of this conversation already.

"Just take them to school with you…" Hatori started.

"I'm sure that everything will be okay…" Shigure said, giving Kyo a reassuring grin.

At school

"AHH!" Tasuki jumped at the sudden bell that rang throughout the hallways.

"Calm down would ya?" Kyo snapped while he shut his locker on Nuriko's hair… fortunately… Nuriko hadn't noticed yet, for he was getting compliments from all of he guys that went to this school.

"Why do I have to be so dangerously good looking?" Nuriko asked to whomever was listening… which was NO ONE!

"Are those things real?" Some random boy asked Tasuki, poking his fangs with his finger. Tasuki shoved the boy away from him, he didn't want someone's nasty fingers all in his mouth… ew… gross.

"Of course they're real!" Tasuki said defensively. He spat at the ground to try to get rid of some of the taste in his mouth. Stupid kid…

"It looks like you've made a new friend." Tamahome commented, very entertained by the look on Tasuki's face.

"Ah shut up!"

"No… this is very entertaining!"

"I'm warning you… REKKA-" Tasuki began to laugh… was someone… _tickling _him?

"Ha ha! I got you!" Momiji said, in between giggles.

"Knock it off kid… this ain't funny…" Tasuki couldn't control his laughter… soon he was on the floor, roaring with it… so much for them not being noticed.

Back at Shigure's House

Hatori looked over at Mitsukake, who was still sitting at the table.

"Why are you still here?"

"What do you mean?" Mitsukake asked.

"Weren't you supposed to leave with your friends?"

"THEY LEFT? Oh snap… they forgot me again, didn't they?" Mitsukake said in his monotone voice.

Hatori leaned over to Shigure to whisper something in his ear, "Great… now we are stuck with the most boringist person in the world!" Shigure and Hatori looked over to Mitsukake to find him in an all-out battle against the salt shaker… but did you want to know the worst part? The salt shaker was winning… by a lot.

Back at school

Nuriko was currently beating up Kyo in the men's bathroom for closing his hair in the locker. Every once in a while you could hear Kyo's death scream coming from one of the stalls… but no one dared to go in there and save him from the wrath of Nuriko. I don't blame them though… I'd be scared too!

Tasuki had already beaten up 25 kids who had dared to make fun of his fangs. Teachers were scouring the school in a desperate attempt to find him.

"We probably should get to class now." Yuki suggested as he watched a kid get beat up on by Tamahome.

"Class?" Chiriko's ears perked up.

"Well… it's only swim class but-" Tohru said.

"Sw-swim class?" Tasuki managed to stammer out.

"Yeah… it's no big deal… we're only in the pool for 45 minutes!" Tohru said with a smile.

"Yeah Tasuki… get a grip… I mean it's only _swim_ class!" Tamahome mocked, he was now finished beating up the kid.

"Oh yeah… no problem…" Tasuki began to have beads of sweat form on his forehead. Out of all the classes… SWIMMING? We still love you Tasuki!

"This is going to be interesting…" Nuriko muttered to himself.

"You can't expect _me_ to get wet can you?" Hotohori said in his most emperor-like voice.

"I will swim double just so you can not swim, my love." Nuriko offered.

"On second thought… I think I'd rather take the class."

"Wait, we don't have any swimsuits!" Miaka said.

"What's a swimsuit?" The seishi all asked at once. All the present day people sweatdropped.

"They're like…. Things you wear in the water…" Tohru said helpfully. She didn't really know how to explain what a swimsuit was… it was hard. How do you describe a swimsuit?

At the pool

"How are we planning on getting 7 extra people into the pool?" Yuki asked Kyo and Tohru.

"Maybe we can stick paper bags over their heads and maybe our teacher won't notice!" Tohru suggested. Yuki and Kyo sweatdropped. Tohru just stood there with a smile on her face, thinking that she had an amazing idea… um…yeah. Not to brilliant.

"Let's go get ready." Miaka said while following Tohru into the locker rooms. Nuriko took it upon him/her self to follow after them.

"NURIKO! What do you think you're doing!" Miaka exclaimed.

"I am a girl too!" Nuriko wailed. Tamahome and Tasuki dragged Nuriko away from the girls and brought him into the boys locker room… Nuriko complaining all the way…

Girls locker room

"Here, Miaka. You can have my extra bathing suit…" Tohru said as she pulled out an extra suit… it was neon pink and yellow… not cool. Ew. Miaka looked at the suit Tohru was going to wear. Hers was black, red, and gold. THE COLORS OF SUZAKU! Now wouldn't we think that Miaka should have this suit? Nope.

"What can't I have that suit?" Miaka asked, holding the one Tohru gave to her by her thumb and forefinger.

"Because this is mine!"

"But I am the priestess of Suzaku!"

"Right… whatever you say." Tohru said. The other girls in the locker room were starting to take notice of the random new girl that was fighting over a swimsuit. Now that would make you look snotty… haha… now people see a new side Miaka!

"Who is that?" the girls were starting to whisper to each other. Tohru noticed that she had forgotten to put a bag over Miaka's head.

"Here! Put this on!" Tohru said throwing a bag over Miaka's head.

"Hey!" Miaka said. The girls quickly stopped talking about Miaka… Tohru's plan had worked!

"Do I seriously have to wear this?" Miaka said taking off her bag.

"AH! She appeared out of no where!" The girls exclaimed, running for cover. Miaka had frightened the poor girls… AH!

"Put that back on!" Tohru said

"Why, it'll ruin my complexion!" Miaka screeched.

"Since when do you care?" Tohru asked. How would Tohru know if she cared or not! She just met her yesterday!

"What's her name again? Maka, Miroka?" one of the random girls asked.

"Miaka…." Miaka grumbled under her breath. She looked down at herself wearing the hideous neon pink and yellow bathing suit. (A/N: we don't know HOW it got on her, it just did…..)

"I'm sorry Suzaku…." Miaka said before she noticed the two daisies on her butt! "WHAT KIND OF BATHING SUIT IS THIS!" Miaka yelled. (This is the bathing suit Shigure gave Tohru…. That she never wore….. wonder why….)

Boy's Locker Room

"Y'all can just take a suit out of the lost and found." Kyo motioned over to the box with forgotten belongings. The things people had gotten for Christmas from their Aunts that were better off being in the box… then letting the world endure the horrors they can bring.

"There is no way I am wearing that!" Tasuki said, holding up a pair of trunks that was 2 sizes to big.

"Just put it on!" Kyo ordered. Why do these people have to be so stubborn! Nuriko held up a pair of trunks that had flowers all over them.

"I've found the one I want to wear!" Nuriko exclaimed. Everyone in the locker room sweatdropped.

"I thought that you didn't want to be gay anymore…" Tamahome commented. The other boys in the locker room quickly put on their swimsuits and ran out to the pool. No way were they going to be in the same room _changing_ with a gay guy.

"Does the fact that I like little flowers make me gay?" Nuriko asked, looking at himself in the mirror with his trunks on, "I think they look fantastic!"

"Whatever you say." Yuki said shutting his locker. He had on regular black trunks… but they still are amazing!

"You really can't expect me to wear this…" Hotohori said. "It's totally barbaric." And compared to what Hotohori was previously wearing… he was absolutely right. His trunks that he had picked out were powder blue with the words "Stud" plastered across his butt.

"What kind of person wears these anyway?" Hotohori asked, but yet afraid of the answer.

"What exactly am I supposed to wear no da?" Chichiri asked, finally making his appearance!

"Where exactly have you been?" Tamahome asked, while looking over a pair of shorts that were lime green.

"I think my kasa messed up again no da…"

"Where were you?" Chiriko asked, appearing out of no where.

"Where did you come from?" Kyo asked.

"Seriously… do I really need to explain this? Listen when my parents fell in love they decided to-"  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Kyo said, afraid of what was going to come out of his mouth.

"I tried to use my kasa again, and I definitely ended up in the wrong place. Someplace that was called Ironland no da…" (A/N… Chichiri was sent to Ireland)

"I made friends with a few leprechauns while I was there… whatever the heck they are no da."

"You made friends with a leprechaun? You do know that they don't exist right?" Yuki said.

"…they don't, no da?" Chichiri asked, looking at what the emperor was wearing… _what the heck is that no da?_ Chichiri thought to himself.

"No." Kyo mocked.

"Then I won't find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow no da?"

"Nope…" Yuki answered.

"Would you knock it off with the 'no da'? It's really starting to get on my nerves!" Kyo screamed.

"No no da." Chichiri answered, happy to have found a way to irritate Tasuki's twin.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"NO DA! NO DA! NO DA! NO DA!"

"I'm leaving." Kyo said as he walked out to he pool. No way was a man in a mask going to bother him.

"What are you wearing no da?" Chichiri asked Hotohori.

"I have no idea… but they seem to like riding up my butt… they are extremely uncomfortable and I do not wish to wear them any longer!"

"If you don't want to wear those then I guess you can put these on instead." Yuki suggested, holding up a pair of Speedo's. They looked extremely tight and no way was it going to fit his majesty.

"These are fine…" Hotohori started, "Why Suzaku? Why must you put my through so much torture?" he added under his breath, and followed Kyo out to the pool.

"Are there any more for me?" Chiriko asked, clearly excited. Yuki sweatdropped and said, "Whatever is left in that box over there, you can have." Yuki left the locker room to go out to he pool.

"How are these things supposed to stay up?" Tasuki grumbled, each time his trunks began to slide down a little bit. HOTTNESS!

"I guess we could tie something around it, to keep it up no da." Chichiri said after choosing a pair of green trunks, in honor of his friends back in Ironland. tee-hee After looking around for a little bit, Tasuki came up with an idea.

"Hey, Chiri?"

"Yes Tasuki no da?"

"May I borrow your kesa for a second?"

"What did you need it for no da?"

"Just a second." Tasuki gave Chichiri a reassuring smile, and Chichiri handed the kesa over to our beloved Tasuki.

"Thanks man."

"No problem no da!" Tasuki tied Chichiri's kesa around his waist to secure his trunks.

"Hey! You can't use it for that no da!" Chichiri said, trying to get his kesa back… but it was too late. Tasuki had claimed Chichiri's kesa… FOR NOW!

"Chichiri… you really are a great friend." And with that, he left the locker room.

"Do you think this would work?" Chiriko asked Chichiri, holding up a pair of trunks that had rubber duckies on it… aww… Chiriko is wearing Rubber duckies!

Tamahome walked out of the bathroom (We'll pretend he was in there… but in reality… I forgot about him! Oh no… it's just like Mitsukake… but we'll get to him in a minute)

"You guys look ridiculous!" Tamahome said, while his sides hurt from laughter. Yeah… you laugh all you want Tamahome… you just wait until you see what you get to wear!

"You have to wear one too no da!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I've picked one out for you no da." Chichiri held a pair of trunks that he had hidden behind his back, revealing them to Tamahome… who stopped laughing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tamahome fell to his knees… this was going to be embarrassing…

Back at Shigure's House

"Do you think he'll ever stop?" Hatori asked, transfixed by Mitsukake's stupidity.

"Probably not… it's quite sad actually…" Shigure replied. And it was… Mitsukake was now strangling the poor, defenseless salt shaker.

"HA! I got you know! There is nothing you can do about it!" Mitsukake roared. How pathetic…

"What is he doing?" Aya asked, as he entered the kitchen.

"We have no idea… but we think that the salt shaker is winning though." Shigure replied.

"IS NOT! I AM WINNING! I WILL NOT LOOSE TO SOMETHING THAT IS SMALLER THAN ME!" Mitsukake roared. Which if you think about it… most of the things in the world are smaller than he is… now isn't that an understatement?

"Don't you think we should help him?" Hatori asked.

"No… this is too entertaining!" Shigure said with a chuckle. And it was… seeing a grown man (?) having an all-out battle with a salt shaker could be quite the site to see… I'll be selling tickets to the next match! (Although I doubt that after this Mitsukake will ever even _touch_ a salt shaker again… but that's up to him)

School

"Are you sure that it's sanitary?" Chiriko asked when he emerged from the locker room.

"I have no idea… I think the rivers back in Konan are cleaner than this no da." Chichiri answered as he let the locker room door close behind him.

"Tamahome… aren't you going to come out?" Chiriko asked.

"Never."

"Why not no da?" Chichiri asked, but he already knew the answer.

"Because this is ridiculous! Miaka can't see me like this!"

"Don't make me come in there and get you no da."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Is that a challenge no da?" Chichiri walked into the locker room to drag Tamahome out. If he had to do this… then he was going to drag everybody down with him.

"I ain't getting in there!" Tasuki said as he pulled his toe out from the water.

"C'mon Tasuki! It's not _that_ bad!" Nuriko said, splashing in the water. Gay-o-meter rises

"Well for us mountain critters, it's TERRIBLE!"

"C'mon ya wimp! It's only water!" Nuriko urged as he got out of the water, an evil glint in his eye.

"What is that look for? Nuriko… don't…please… think about humanity!" Tasuki said as he retreated into a corner, assuming the fetal position. What a baby… so anyway… Nuriko hoisted a whimpering seishi above his head and threw him into the pool.

"NURIKO! YOU JERK!" Tasuki yelled as his head emerged from the water.

"What was that Tasuki, dear?" Nuriko said, completely ignoring Tasuki's cry for help. Nuriko did a cannon ball into the water, sending water straight at Tasuki's face.

"Knock it off jerk!"

"Tamahome… you need to come out no da!" Chichiri said as he tried to get him out of the locker room.

"Did you see what I am wearing? I'll never be able to face Miaka again!" Chichiri looked down at Tamahome's swimsuit. He was right though… it was kinda embarrassing for him to be in front of Miaka with that suit on… his trunks were pink with thousands of little yellow polka dots on them. Chichiri tried to hold back his laugh but couldn't help it.

"AHAHAHAHHAHA!" Chichiri belted out. Soon, he became too weak to even try to move Tamahome out of the locker room. His sides were aching with laughter.

"Have you gone mad, Chichiri? Look at yourself… you look like a loon or something." Chichiri was leaning against a wall for support and his head was tilted all the way back… man was this stuff funny…

"Say cheese!" Chichiri said, as he pulled out a random camera. Snap…flash… a picture was taken. Did I forget to mention that this would be great for blackmailing too?

"What was that for?" Tamahome said, as he rubbed his eyes, trying to get those pesty little white dots away form his eyes.

"Nothing… " Chichiri took his chance… he knew that Tamahome was vulnerable right now… HE MUST GET HIM OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM! doesn't that sound like something you'll hear from an action movie? It's great!

Chichiri ran towards Tamahome and grabbed his at the waist and threw him over his shoulder.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU MONK!" Tamahome said as he punched Chichiri's back in a meaningless effort to get away.

"Stud?" Chiriko asked Hotohori when he saw what was plastered across his emperor's butt.

"…"

"It's a nice color too… it really makes a great contrast to your eyes!" Chiriko added, acting like he knows ALL about fashion.

"Do you really think so?" Hotohori asked.

"Certainly!" Hotohori began to sparkle at the compliment.

"Hey… do you know where Tamahome is?" Miaka asked Tohru.

"No… sorry."

"HEY MIAKA!" Miaka turned around to see Chichiri walking out of the locker room with a seishi across his shoulder. Miaka sweatdropped… _What was Tamahome wearing… what was _she_ wearing?_

Tasuki began to laugh uncontrollably. In fact… he was laughing so hard he almost forgot he was in water… until he began to sink.

"What's so funny, huh Pyro Boy?" Tamahome shouted across the pool.

"Nothing… you just look completely ridiculous!" Tasuki said as his head began to disappear below the surface.

"Well at least I know how to swim!" Tasuki was now completely submerged.

"What was that?" Tasuki asked, re-surfacing.

"You heard me!"

"Fine… we'll just see who's laughing now!" Tasuki climbed out of the pool and walked over to Tamahome.

"You're just going to have to wait a second." Tasuki brushed by him, and walked into the locker room. Tamahome had NO IDEA what was going on… was this some new way of intimidating him? Wow… I think _I_ can be more intimidating than that!

"REKKA SHINEN!" Tasuki yelled as he re-appeared. Tamahome made an attempt to dodge it… and he normally would have been able to.. if I did not hit the slow motion button! MUHAHAHAH!  
Bubbles hits slow motion button

Tamahome knew he could not get out of the way in time. There was no escaping: It. not the scary clown… the fire… duh… wouldn't it be _completely_ random if I had that weirdo clown walk out into the pool? Tasuki's flame had made a direct hit with Tamahome.

Goldfish stops slow motion

Tamahome: Hey you!  
Bubbles: me?

Tamahome: yeah you… why did you go and have to hit the slow motion button?

Bubbles: uh… evil grin

Tamahome: you jerk! I'll get you! Tamahome start to beat Bubbles up

Goldfish: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Excuse me… may I talk to you for a second?" Tasuki turned around to see the swim coach talking to him.

"For why?" Tasuki replied.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you detention!"

"A what?"

"Detention."

"What's that?" Yuki and Kyo ran up to where Tasuki and the coach were talking.

"Don't mind him coach!" Yuki said, trying to cover up Tasuki and his dumbness.

"Yeah… he always acts that way when he's drunk!" The coach looked back at Tasuki who was trying real hard to get Yuki and Kyo off of his arms.

"You're _drunk_ too?"

"What! I haven't had sake since we left Konan!"

"Konan? Wow… you really _are_ drunk… for that I am going to have to give you suspension.. you are a disgrace!" Coach handed him a pink slip and dismissed them.

"Dunk? You just HAD to go and say he was drunk, you stupid cat. You're always making things worse!"

"SHUT UP YA DAMN RAT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

"THEN WHOE FAULT IS IT?"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Nuriko said, finally finished with playing in the water.

"Maybe bringing them here was a mistake." Kyo said.

"That's probably the brightest thing you have said all day!" Yuki responded.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kyo said. Nuriko couldn't take it anymore… uh-oh… he was reaching maximum rage again!

"I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!" Nuriko threw a punch at Kyo, sending him back into the pool. When he hit the water, you could hear a loud 'smack'. OUCH! Kyo entered the water on his stomach! OWWIE!

"Belly flop!" Tohru said as she did the same thing. Another smack

"Maybe we should leave." Chiriko suggested. Kyo emerged from the water. His chest was beat red from the impact from the water.

"You'll DIE!" Kyo chased Nuriko into the locker room.

Shigure's house  
"I think I have finally found a way to defeat you!" Mitsukake said to the motionless salt shaker. Thoroughly enjoying the entertainment, Shigure and Ayame watched closely. Mitsukake unscrewed the lid to the shaker a little bit.

"MUHAHAHAHAHAH!" Hatori sweatdropped, while Shigure and Aya clapped for his 'victory'.

Outside of school

"This is the worst idea Shigure ever had." Kyo spat.

"Tasuki got suspension! Tasuki got suspension!" Tamahome sang.

"Do you think they'll mind if I were to keep my 'bathing suit no da?" Chichiri asked. Miaka sweatdropped.

"There is a reason why those were in the lost and found." Miaka offered, but Chichiri didn't want to heat it. How else would he remember his leprechaun friends… even if the _did_ lie to him…

Tohru stopped walking suddenly, causing Yuki to walk into her.

"Is something wrong Ms. Honda?"

"Look…" Tohru said gesturing over to the sidewalk. Nakago and the Seiryu seishi were standing before them… while Akito stood crying… again. Jeez… when does this man ever stop!

"Oh for the love of Pete... get a hold of yourself man!" Nakago said as he hit Akito upside the head.

"Who's Pete?" Tomo asked, "I thought you loved me!"

"No! Nakago loves me!" Soi said, wrapping her arms around Nakago. Nakago sweatdropped... will the stupidness of these people ever cease to amaze us? I THINK NOT!

A/N: WE'RE SO SORRY! THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN POSTED LAST WEEK! Ritsu moment Yeah, well we wanted to post a chapter before I (bubbles) went to Texas for the weekend. Well I hope this was worth waiting for! Thanks to all of our amazing reviewers! You guys really mean a lot to us!

Goldfish078 & Bubbles078 xoxox


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